Page 36 of Bridesmaid Undercover
“Don’t ask questions,” she says as she opens them. “Lower your hands.”
I do as I’m told, and she squeezes the ketchup into my hand. “That’s really thick blood.”
“I’m not done.” She takes out her water bottle now and squirts water into my hand, letting it thin out the ketchup. “Now put that up against your face. It’ll be horrifying.”
Knowing we don’t have much time, I bring my hands and prosthetic nose up to my face just as JP comes back. “I’ve got the napkins,” he says.
“Ohhrrr, what a noice bloke,” Everly replies.
For the love of God, Everly.
Turning toward him, I keep my head down, but there is thinned ketchup spreading down my forearms, which of course scares the crap out of him.
“Oh fuck. Dude, you’re…hemorrhaging.”
Everly takes the napkins from him. “Nothing a little pressure won’t take care of,” she says, keeping in theme with her accent. “Here you go, Phillip.”
I take the napkins and say in my British accent, “Thanks, mate.”
“Yeah, of course,” JP says. “Man, I swore I knew you, but I guess not. I’m sorry if I startled you.”
“Totally fine,” I reply, holding the napkins close to my nose.
But he doesn’t leave—he keeps studying me. “You know, are you sure I don’t know you?” I can feel actual sweat start to drip down my back. “You look so familiar.” He snaps his finger and points at me. “Did I see you down at the pier the other day, feeding the pigeons?”For the love of God.
“Uhh…”
“He hates pigeons,” Everly says, which of course causes JP to gasp.
“How could you hate pigeons? They bob their heads when they walk.”
I just shrug, not wanting to lean on my poor accent to talk any more than I have to, which in turn causes JP to shake his head in disappointment. “Well, maybe read up on them, give yourself an education. We humans have done a lot to the pigeon population, and the fact that we just turn our back on them is disgraceful.” He shakes his head and takes a step back just as he bumps into…oh fuck…
“Oh, I’m sorry about that,” Maple says. “Didn’t see you there.”
Remember that sweat running down my back? It just doubled.
She…she hasn’t changed.
Maple isn’t one to dabble in social media, so I really haven’t seen her in a long time, but I would recognize that face anywhere. Although, this time, there seems to be deeper laugh lines around her eyes. Her face is more mature, not so rounded like in college. And her hair is shorter than what I remember, not cascading down her back in a low and tight ponytail, but rather sitting higher on her head. But one thing for certain hasn’t changed—she still has that sweet, innocent smile.
“Not a problem,” JP says, before noticing her uniform. “Do you work here?”
“Yes, I do,” Maple answers as she glances in our direction, but I turn my back. “With the flamingos in particular. Can I help you with anything?”
Please don’t look at us. Please don’t look at us.
“Great, I have questions about the flamingos I’d love answered.”
“Not a problem at all,” Maple answers, probably more than happy to help out a fellow flamingo enthusiast. “Follow me.”
And then just like that, JP forgets about me and my bloody nose and takes off with Maple toward the center of the habitat’souter ring, far away from us. I duck behind the bush and exhale loudly. “Jesus…Christ.”
Everly chuckles. “That was eventful.”
“That was Maple,” I say, causing Everly’s eyes to widen.
“That girl talking to JP?”
