Page 104 of Bridesmaid Undercover
“Pretty sure dating Maple for three years was serious,” I say.
“After that, Hardy. She was your one and only relationship. And even then, you guys never really spoke about forever like Ken and I did. You were having fun. She was looking for commitment from you, and you weren’t giving it to her.”
“I did,” I say. “For those three years, I was hers and only hers.”
She sighs. “I mean…like commitment to the future. I don’t think…I don’t think you loved her the way you thought you did.”
“You don’t know that,” I say.
She takes my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. “I saw the way you would look at her, the way you look at her now, andthere’s something missing, Hardy. The spark. The excitement. It’s not there. I think you like the idea of Maple, the connection you had, but I’m not sure that connection was strong enough. I don’t think that connection gave you what you really wanted. You didn’t feel it deep within you. It was all surface.”
Was it?
I didn’t think it was surface level. I had a connection with Maple—I didn’t make that up in my head.
Then why didn’t you follow her?I have so many words swimming in my mind. My dad’s verbal vomit accusing me of being just like him—loving work over family and commitments. But then I consider Everly’s comments. She thinks I’m nothing like my dad, and I’m coming to realize that Everly knows me quite well.
But then Maple’s words come to mind.
Because I didn’t think I was worth your time.They stunned me. Is that how she perceived me at the end of our relationship, or all the way through?
There’s something missing, Hardy. The spark. The excitement. It’s not there. I think you like the idea of Maple, the connection you had, but I’m not sure that connection was strong enough. I don’t think that connection gave you what you really wanted. You didn’t feel it deep within you. It was all surface.
If that’s true, then it makes sense why I was content to let her go. And that is staggering. I just don’t know if I can believe that yet.
Polly stands on her toes and leans in to press a kiss to my cheek.
“Thank you for today,” she says, releasing my hand. “I know how much you did to make this happen, and I’m really appreciative of it. Of you.”
Smiling softly despite the question she just put in my mind, I say, “You know I would do anything for you guys.”
“We know, and we love you.”
With that, she moves through the crowd and walks up to Ken. He places his arm around her and brings her in for a kiss. I watch them, the ease in their movements, the love they clearly share for each other, the comfortable companionship.
Is Polly right? Was it never that deep between me and Maple?
Were we ever at a level of love that Ken and Polly share?
I thought we were.
But now…now she has me doubting myself.
“Hey,” I hear Everly say as she steps up to me. “Are you really planning a foursome date with Maple?”
I glance over at her, those pretty green eyes peering up at me. “I offered it,” I say. “I thought that maybe you wouldn’t mind since you mentioned wanting to get to know Timothy more. Maple says he wants to get to know you but is nervous and, well, I just thought it would be a great way for everyone to hang out—but then we could go off into our respective couples. I thought it was pretty genius, something the professor would have come up with.”
“You don’t think that’s going to be awkward?” She twists her hands together.
“Why would it be awkward?” I ask. “If anything, we can help warm each other up. I can bring up Whitney Houston, and you can tell Timothy how much you love her.”
That brings a smile to her face. “Do you think he’d be impressed or startled by my insane knowledge of Whitney Houston’s life?”
“Obviously impressed,” I say.
“I think you’re right.” Her shoulder lines up with mine as we stare out at the party. The signature cocktails are an absolutehit—the beer stocked up has barely been touched. Guests are milling about, compostable plates in hand full of mini eggrolls, shrimp cocktail, and vegetable crudités, while Ken and Polly are surrounded by laughter as light music mixes in the background, setting a romantic mood. “I could regale him with facts aboutThe Bodyguardand how Kevin Costner held off production for a year so Whitney could finish her concert tour.”
“Kevin knew she was the only one who could play that role,” I add.
