Page 88 of So This Is War
Ollie:Too long.
Levi:Quirky Queens.
Winnie:You’re getting worse.
Levi:Uhh . . . Queefing Queens?
Penny:You’re going to be dead to us in mere seconds.
Levi:I’m sorry! Like I said before, I’M IN DISTRESS!
Blakely:You know, it doesn’t have to start with a Q.
Levi:For the love of God, just help me. Work on the name later.
Penny:*looks at nails and sighs* Fine. How can we be of service to you?
Levi:I told her about getting hard, and she understood completely. I told her to put on a bra. And she did.
Ollie:Wow, this really is a red alert. She listened. The horror.
Winnie:It is for a man. They don’t understand what listening is.
Blakely:Ha, good one.
Winnie:Thank you, it just came to me.
Levi:The listening isn’t the problem. It’s the kind of bra she’s wearing now that’s the problem.
Penny:Uh-oh. Is it a push-up bra?
Levi:Pretty sure she’s wearing titanium steel under her breasts, they’re so propped up. And she’s wearing a deep V-cut sweater. I know you don’t want details, but my dick is screaming right now.
Blakely:Ugh, God, is this what the men’s group text is like?
Penny:Pretty much. Just disgusting.
Winnie:Could you imagine us saying something like that? Oh, his pecs were bouncing so much, my clit was screaming.
Ollie:His bulge, oh his bulge. *drapes hand over forehead* My nipples were leaking they were so turned on.
Penny:The cake on that man. I nearly fainted into my own vagina from how turned on I was.
Blakely:Fainting into the vagina, that’s on point with what they’d say.
Levi:Can you really bend that far?
Penny:Posey! Focus!
Levi:You’re the ones talking about screaming clits and leaking nipples. Christ.
Winnie:Okay, let’s reel it in. Here are the facts. You told her you’re turned on and to put on a bra. She listened and doubled down and put on the atomic bomb of all bras.
Levi:You think she doubled down?
Penny:One thousand percent. This is a classic case of double downing.
Ollie:What is double downing?
