Page 39 of So This Is War
Clearing my throat, I say, “I always wrap up.”
“What a great practice to take part in,” she says. “Good job taking care of yourself and the woman.”
“Uh, thank you?”
“You’re welcome. Now, where are they?”
“Where are what?” I ask.
“The condoms, Levi. I know you’ll want them on your away trips, and I want to be able to pack them for you.”She does?She stands from the closet and moves over to my nightstand, then opens it up before I can stop her. Her eyes widen with a smile as she looks up at me. “Man alive,” she says while revealing a well-organized drawer of silk ties, eye masks, vibrators . . . and condoms. She reaches into the drawer and pulls out my Orgaster Neo G-spot vibrator. “Do you use this? You don’t have holes, well, unless . . .”
I snatch it from her hand and accidentally press the on button in the process, causing the vibrator to start in my hand, which inevitably leads me to drop it on the floor.
We both look down as it jingle-jangles across the hardwood and right up against my foot, almost nudging me in a suggestive way to use it.
“Quite the vibration,” she says as the vibrator’s buzzing fills the silence. “Feels strong yet not too powerful where it could cause your innards to turn inward.”
I look up at her. “Is that a thing?”
She shrugs. “Feels like it could be. Is that supposed to hit the G-spot?”
I glance down at the flat side that is, in fact, supposed to massage the G-spot. It’s currently massaging the tip of my toe.
“Yes,” I answer.
“Fascinating. And that piece on the end there, is that for the clit?”
“The one that is currently sucking my pinky toe?” I ask.
“Yes, that one.”
“Yeah,” I answer. “That’s for the clit.”
“And how does it feel against your toe?” She taps her chin, studying me for my reaction.
“Humiliating,” I answer.
“Honestly, I’m surprised you’ve let it suck on your toe for this long. By now, I would have grabbed it, turned it off, and stuffed it back in my drawer.”
“That would have been the intelligent reaction,” I reply as I stick my hands in my pockets and let the vibrator rumble against the floor.
“So . . .” she says, “we’re just going to let this happen? That thing is going to suck your toe, and I’m supposed to act like it’s not and just have a normal conversation with you about your packing needs?”
“Not really sure how else to move on.”
“You could . . . oh, I don’t know, pick up the vibrator.”
“I think the moment has passed,” I reply.
“I disagree. I don’t think there’s ever a moment when you can’t remove a clit sucker off your toe. I think the window is always open for something like that,” she replies.
“But we’ve talked about it too much. It feels weird.”
“I’d assume getting your toe sucked by a vibrator in front of your new assistant would be even weirder, but I guess to each their own.” She stares at me.
I stare at her.
She shifts.
