Page 38 of So This Is War
“Speaking of packing, that’s something I can do for you. Just give me a list, and I’ll throw everything together for you. We can even do a test run before your away trip so you feel comfortable with what I’m packing.”
“Yeah, that could be a good idea. I do hate packing even though I’m efficient with my organizing.”
She winks at me. “Very efficient. If you have time, we can go over that right now since we’re done with the tour.”
“Yeah, I think we can do that.”
She follows me into the closet, and I grab my suitcase.
“Oh,” she says. “I assumed you’d like a rollie bag.”
“Technically, I do,” I answer. “But now that social media has picked up and they’re using pictures and videos of us entering and leaving the arenas as well as on and off the planes, I saw one video of me with a rollie bag and nearly died of embarrassment. Now, it’s this handheld bag. Stylish and masculine.”
“That’s probably the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard, but I get it.” She removes her blazer, leaving her in jeans and what I can only assume is a body suit from how skintight the damn thing is. With the blazer off, I’m reminded of just how voluptuous—to put it nicely—she is up top. “But also, I can see what you mean because my dad uses a rollie bag and looks like a total dweeb even though it’s matte black and what he considers to be cool. I, on the other hand, find it lame.” She examines my bag. “This is nice, though. Surprised you don’t have a luxury designer bag.”
“That’s because I care about animals.”
“Oh? Tell me more.” She opens the bag and looks inside, only to pull out my packing cubes. She holds them close to her heart in approval and smiles.
“You’ll be hard-pressed to find a luxury brand that doesn’t use fur, leather, down, exotic animal hair, the list goes on. And I’m not into torturing and hurting animals for fashion. So I found this duffel bag by Peak Design that has a sleek look but is also one hundred percent carbon neutral. I save my image and the earth at the same time.”
She chuckles. “Huh, who would have known the beast on the ice has a heart for animals?”
“There’s a lot people don’t know about me. Also, if I’m going on an away trip that’s more than just one game, we go for the Patagonia.” I pull down my Patagonia duffel bag, which is larger. “This one is more of a bitch to carry, but once again, it’s better than the rollie.”
“Can’t you . . . have like the equipment boys roll your suitcase to your hotel room? I know that’s what my dad does.”
“I . . .” I pause and scratch the back of my head. “You know, I’ve never thought about that.”
She laughs and lays out the black packing cubes. “And that’s why I’m here.” She then pulls out her notepad and writes something at the top. “Okay, tell me everything you need.”
“Clothes,” I say.
“Yes, but what kind of clothes are we talking about? Comfies? Suits? Casual wear? Do you have pajamas I need to worry about, or do you sleep naked?” She cutely wiggles her brows.
“Naked at home, but in hotels, I sleep in boxer briefs because something about laying my dick to rest on anything other than my sheets makes me feel disgusting.”
“Laying your dick to rest makes it sound like you’re putting it to sleep, you know . . . death.”
“If my dick dies, I die,” I say.
“Typical man.” She rolls her eyes. “Okay, so extra underwear. What about spare clothes? You need a suit for game day. What do you like to wear when it’s not game day or you’re traveling?”
“I’ll take care of my airplane outfit because I have to wear it there, but just some comfy sweatsuits, joggers, or long-sleeved T-shirts that go together. And a suit with a matching top and shoes. I’ll wear a watch, but if you can make sure that every outfit has shoes, that would be awesome.”
She writes it all down. “What about toiletries?”
“I can send you a list of things.”
“Great. And then we have chargers. Computers. Gaming system for the plane.”
“I’ll pack all of that in my backpack.”
“Great.” She checks that off her list. “What about condoms?”
I nearly choke on my own saliva. “What?” I ask.
“Condoms. You’ll need them, right? Or . . . oh . . . do you go bareback? You know, that’s risky with all the venereal diseases floating around. I’d suggest we wrap you up.”
