Page 36 of So This Is War
If only.
I think about Sherman . . . original Sherman. Long story short, Halsey had a bonsai tree. It was decapitated, and I tried to bring it back to life without him knowing because I felt bonded to it, but I did not succeed. And it wasn’t from a lack of me trying every trick in the book. His trunk was snapped as if his neck had been broken in half, and there was no saving him. I buried him alone in the park just outside of my apartment building in the middle of the night with a headlamp and a gardening shovel. I said a few well wishes and let him compost into the ground.
Devastating.
“No plants,” I say.
“Would you like a plant? Perhaps a ficus tree in the corner might add the green you lack in your living space.”
“You think I’m lacking green?” I ask. “I have some green right over there.” I point at my fake plant on the shelf.
“But that’s fake.” She scrunches her nose in this cute way. “You want some life in the apartment. I know Joanna Gaines is huge on having real plants around the home.”
I gasp as my hand presses to my chest. “You follow Joanna?”
She softly smiles. “Do you?”
“How could I not?” I reply. “That couch is from the Magnolia brand.”
She glances at my couch, then back at me. “You know, I thought I recognized it. Great taste, Mr. Posey.”
“Hey.” I point at her. “What did I say about that shit? Just call me Levi or Posey.”
“Oh, I could never call you Posey. That feels very bro-like. What about Mr. Levi?”
“What about just Levi and leave it at that?”
“Fine, but just remember, I’m the one trying to be professional here. You are my boss, after all.”
Don’t fucking remind me.
“I can still be your boss and be Levi at the same time.”
She shrugs and then writes on her notepad. “Buy a ficus.”
“What kind of ficus are we talking about? Because I honestly really like the looks of a fiddle leaf fig tree but haven’t had the time or energy to really look for one.”
“Oh, I can find you a nice one. Would you like a pot for it or a basket? Personally, I think a basket would add some nice texture to the space. We can put the tree over there in the corner where it will get some sunlight but also add an element to the space that softens it a little more, especially with the woven pot.”
I nod, envisioning the fiddle leaf fig tree. Fuck yeah, that would look amazing.
A piece of my design puzzle I haven’t been able to fulfill.
“Yeah, I think that’ll be nice.”
“Perfect. I’ll get right on that. Shall you show me the rest of the space?”
“Sure,” I say, thinking that maybe this assistant thing won’t be as bad as I thought. First, she takes care of the mouse—RIP, you mangy rodent—and now my very own fiddle leaf fig tree. Wow. I won’t let her know how excited I am about the prospect of having one. And in a fucking basket. . . talk about living the good life. My apartment will be unmatched compared to the other guys. Halsey might have a bonsai tree, but I’ll have a giant, and I mean leaves taking up the apartment space giant, fiddle leaf fig plant that will fill my apartment with oxygen and goodness.
None of them will have that.
None.
I internally cackle, knowing once again I’ll have a leg up on my nimrod friends.
I lead her to my office, which is more like a den. I had some sliding French quarter black-framed barn doors installed in case I ever wanted to shut them, but given that I’m the only one here, they’re more for show than use.
“This is my office. I usually answer emails here in the morning while drinking my coffee. So if you ever need me to look at something or adjust my calendar, you can leave Post-it notes along my desk.”
