Page 119 of So This Is War
Levi:That would be correct.
Ollie:Why are men so confusing?
Blakely:Halsey isn’t confusing. He’s perfect.
Winnie:Pacey is pretty perfect too.
Penny:Eli can be an idiot a lot of the time.
Ollie:Silas is stubborn and only wants things done his way, which doesn’t settle well with me sometimes. That’s why I give him a lot of hell, and he ends up spanking me. It’s a win-win for everyone.
Levi:That’s great and all, but can we get back to me? She knows this will all be a ploy from her dad, so how do I handle this? Do I still fight fire with fire? An epic battle between penis and vagina, who will weep first?
Blakely:Ew, can we not have genitals weeping please?
Winnie:Why can I picture a weeping penis so well?
Ollie:You know, I see it too. All droopy and sad, the balls dangling in depression.
Penny:The wrinkles wrinkling even more from the sadness.
Blakely:So many wrinkles.
Levi:I can see now why Halsey gets so frustrated in group texts. You queens aren’t focusing. What the hell do I do?
Penny:How did last night go when you called her? Were you naked?
Blakely:I was wondering the same thing. Did you strip for her?
Winnie:Did she like the massage?
Levi:The massage was supposed to be today, but she’ll miss it now that she has to fly here.
Penny:Ooo, what a wonderful opportunity for erotic torture.
Blakely:I think I know where you’re going with this, and I couldn’t agree more.
Ollie:Oily massage performed by Posey? Yup, this is erotic torture all right.
Levi:You want me to massage her? You do realize how hard that’s going to make me, right? And since she’s staying in my room, I can’t really take care of the hardness.
Penny:Sure you can. Are you scared to come in front of her?
Levi:Penny, you know I love you and your ideas, but that is inappropriate. No way am I going to jack off in my bed while she’s sleeping on a cot next to me.
Ollie:Although it would be really hot.
Winnie:Weird, but hot.
Blakely:What if she started feeling herself up at the same time. A mutual masturbation. Maybe that’s what you guys could call it. Instead of a work meeting, it’s mutual masturbation time.
Levi:Jesus Christ. If I wanted such ridiculous advice, I would have asked my teammates. I expect better from you.
Penny:Please note that it’s been a few days away from our men. We’re not thinking clearly.
Ollie:She’s right. Silas and I tried to have phone sex last night, and for some reason, it was more frustrating than satisfying. His phone kept falling, and the video kept pausing. It was a nightmare.
Blakely:Halsey and I seemed to manage. I just think a mutual masturbation party seems like fun.
