Page 110 of So This Is War
Winnie:What about this, this is going to sound like aFriendsepisode, but she doesn’t know that you know she knows, which means . . .
Levi:Hold on a second . . . to quoteFriends,the messer becomes the messee?
Winnie:Precisely, and I think we all know the only way to battle erotic torture . . .
Penny:A wet blanket?
Ollie:Deflated noodle? Also known as a flaccid penis?
Blakely:No . . . with . . . *whispers* erotic torture.
Winnie:Precisely. We fight fire with fire.
Levi:Wait, you want me to battle with my penis?
Blakely:Penis, pecs, ass, muscles, I’m sure you have them.
Winnie:The perfectly shaped balls you’ve proudly mentioned.
Penny:You guys, this doesn’t seem like a good idea. We’re talking about Posey here. Do you really think he can go into war, an erotic war, with wielding just his body as a weapon?
Ollie:I have to admit, I’m a little nervous about this tactic.
Winnie:I have confidence in him.
Levi:I appreciate the confidence, but do we not remember the torture I’ve been through the last week? How the hell do you expect me to fight temptation with well . . . temptation? Seems like a recipe for my penis to easily slide inside of her main hole.
Blakely:I TOLD YOU NEVER TO USE THAT TERM AGAIN!
Ollie:You make it hard to help you, Posey.
Penny:Hold on, ladies. Posey, don’t you want revenge? Don’t you want to show her who has the upper hand? You do, right?
Levi:I don’t know. Her nipples sort of have the upper hand at the moment.
Winnie:For the love of God, Posey, man up! Do you like losing? Because that’s what’s going to happen here. You’re going to lose! Are you a loser?
Blakely:Are you?
Levi:I’m not. I’m a winner.
Blakely:Then buck up and semi-seduce her!
Penny:I’m not fully on board with this plan, but I can see the benefit of trying to beat her at her own game. Because she won’t go the whole way with you, what happens if you come at her with the same playbook?
Ollie:The more I think about it, the more I think this could work.
Winnie:See! This is the way to win.
Levi:Okay, so I beat her at her own game. How do I even start doing that without looking obvious? I’ve been pretty frank about not crossing that line, especially after last night.
Winnie:Ease her in. Start simple. You’re on an away trip. Strike up conversation. Get to know her better. Act like you’re working, but you’re really flirting.
Blakely:And then when you get back, you serve her your penis on a platter for dinner.
Ollie:I love when Silas does that.
Penny:What kind of sex life do you have?
