Page 126 of So This Is War
Levi:I’m just speaking the truth.
Ollie:Well, the truth hurts.
Levi:Maybe give better advice.
Blakely:Whoa, where did all this hostility come from? A few days ago, we were queens, and now we’re a step above the boys? I need an explanation.
Winnie:Sometimes I think my advice isn’t that much better than Pacey’s.
Penny:Winnie, pull yourself together. Of course your advice is better than Pacey’s.
Ollie:I think before we start doubting ourselves, we need to have the man in this group explain himself.
Levi:“Massage her, touch her boob, it will be great.” < - - that’s what you said. Well guess what? I did massage her, but she fell asleep topless on my bed, and I can’t move her becausethat would mean I touched her breasts, and if I touch her breasts, I’ll get hard, not to mention, advance to pervert levels. So now I have to sleep on her cot, and because this cot was made for no bigger than a tween girl, my legs are hanging off the end. All because of you.
Penny:Hold on a second. She fell asleep?
Levi:Yeah. To my fucking luck, she fell asleep diagonally, so I can’t even slip into the bed if I want to.
Ollie:Why did she fall asleep?
Levi:Because I have magical hands that not just handle a hockey stick, but will massage all your worries away. Should have known the kind of powers I possess.
Winnie:Pacey has great hands. And a great penis. God, I love his penis.
Penny:Winnie, babe, I know you’re missing him, but remember, the sister is in this text thread.
Winnie:Sorry. I just miss his dick.
Ollie:I miss Silas and his piercings. God, I love it when he tells me to ride them.
Blakely:I miss Halsey’s tongue. And his chest. I love playing with his nipples.
Levi:Really not interested in hearing about the above. Also, side note, Halsey does have great nipples.
Blakely:Have you touched them? Very responsive.
Levi:Can’t say that I have but will be sure to accidentally graze them in the showers and see what happens.
Winnie:Ooo, graze Pacey’s nipples too! I bet they harden like little pebbles.
Ollie:While you’re at it, poke Silas’s stomach. His nipples will shrivel up quickly. I do it all the time. I laugh about it, but he hates that I do it.
Levi:Any place on the stomach, or is there a certain spot?
Penny:Uh, hello! We’re being blamed for someone else’s faults. Focus, ladies.
Blakely:She’s right. We gave you the goods, and you messed it up.
Levi:Hold on a goddamn second. I did not mess it up. I laid her down, even got her topless, and started massaging. I did it in my boxer briefs.
Penny:Wait, she shouldn’t have fallen asleep. She should be buzzing with erotic torture at the moment. Did you not touch the side boob?
Levi:She fell asleep before I could even make a move to the side boob.
Ollie:Was she really tired?
Winnie:How long were you massaging her before she fell asleep?
