Page 71 of Bridesmaid for Hire
The ball rolls to the left where Hardy picks it up, hops over a hissing Brody and takes it right to the bin where he scores.
Ending the game.
That is not good for us.
And as I glance down at Brody, I realize it’s going to be a rough night.
Because, if I didn’t turn his penis into applesauce with the balloon popping, I probably did just now.
Fear prickles the back of my neck as I carefully kneel in front of Brody and place my hand on his shoulder. The other team wildly cheers their victory while I try to make things right with Brody. “Uh…you know that loss, that one is on me.” I pat my chest. “I can understand where I went wrong. The stiff-arm was ineffective, so, I’m going to take the L on this.”
“Move…over,” he mumbles.
“Huh?”
“Move,” he shouts just as he rolls to the side and then pukes right into the sand.
My innards shrivel up as I stare down at him.
Universe, please save me from the wrath of this man, because I know he will never…ever forgive me for this.
Nope, he’s going to murder me in my sleep tonight.Goodbye, world. It was nice knowing you.
CHAPTER NINE
BRODY
“YOU CAN LET GO OFTHE ICE,”I say through clenched teeth.
“It hasn’t been twenty minutes—we should really ice it for the full time,” Maggie says as she sits next to me on the beach, on a towel courtesy of the hotel staff, holding a bag of ice to my dick and balls, the cold shriveling up my cock into a pinto bean.
Today was a disaster. I don’t think it could have gone any worse.
I was humiliated.
Pantsed.
Blasted in the crotch…twice.
And I threw up in the sand, only to have Reginald watch me handle my pain like the weak peon I am.
Hardy and Hudson, of course, patted me on the back and told me they probably would have thrown up if they were hit with a zinger like that as well. Seems like Maggie doesn’t have the arm she boasted about, but she sure as hell had a pent-up fastball, waiting to unleash on me.
Hell, I can’t even think about it because I might throw up again.
I’ve never tasted my testicles before, but when that ball hit my nuts, I felt them travel all the way up my throat. The pain was ungodly, and I knew within seconds, I was going to lose all the contents of my stomach.
Jesus, so embarrassing.
“You did score that one time, you know,” Maggie says, obviously trying to make light of the situation as the rest of the group enjoys a nicelunch spread on the beach. We were brought food, but I couldn’t even look at it. Maggie though, while holding the ice to my crotch, annihilated an egg salad sandwich and described the flavors to me in such vivid detail that it was the first time I actually thought about kicking dirt into a person’s eyeballs.
I’m ashamed to say it, but fuck, the last thing I want is for her to be near me.
“Can you please stop talking?”
“Are you really that angry?” she asks, completely oblivious.
“Yes,” I hiss, keeping it down because we’re still surrounded by wedding guests. “Jesus, Maggie, I know you were around for that disaster, because you were the main reason everything happened to me. You can’t tell me that went well.”
