Page 9 of Bridesmaid for Hire
Hattie:Don’t you like being surrounded by people in love? You love being near me and Hayes.
Ugh, did I mention she’s dating and lives with the most beautiful voice of our generation? Hayes Farrow.
Uh, yeah.
The man who penned the beautiful lyrics to the world’s number one song, “The Reason.”
Mr. Black Album Tour himself with the V-neck shirts, popping muscles, manly fingers splayed across the strings of his acoustic guitar like he’s plucking the hearts of every person falling at his feet. Bonus points for the hair flip over his handsome forehead.
Yeah, that Hayes Farrow.
Maggie:I like being near you and Hayes because he smells like a warm body on a summer’s night, aroused and rippled, ready for the taking.
Hattie:What have I told you about talking about my boyfriend like that?
Maggie:And what have I told you? It’s inevitable. You are attached to the single most attractive man in the world.
Hattie:I feel bad for whoever’s Speedo you try to peel off in Bora-Bora.
Maggie:There will be no Speedo peeling at this rate. No single men here. From the looks of it, everyone is taken. Spoken for. So deeply in love that no one even noticed the near nip slip I had when I puffed my chest before sitting on my lounger.
Hattie:You went with the pink bikini on your first day?
Maggie:Of course I did. I have to make an entrance on day one. Unfortunately for me, there’s no one here to watch said perfectly planned entrance.
Hattie:Maybe all the single men are still sleeping off last night.
Maggie:Huh…I didn’t think about that.
Hattie:I would just relax for now, enjoy the sun and later on, when the singles creep out of their bungalows, all hungover, you’ll have the chance to present said near nip slip to the masses then.
Maggie:One can only hope. But mark my words, Hattie, if I don’t end up having at least two non-self-induced orgasms this trip, I’ll be tempted to march up to your brother, grab him by the hair, and introduce him to my breasts with a good old-fashioned motorboat. Shake some life back into that man.
Hattie:For the love of God, please do not go near Ryland. He can barely handle Mac, a four-year-old, so there is no way he’d be able to handle you. Plus that would be weird.
Maggie:You’re dating his best friend. Why can’t he date your best friend? And you can’t say age gap, because it’s the same age gap as you and Hayes. Twelve years…I can get on board with that.
Hattie:It would be weird because you two have nothing in common, you work in San Francisco, his life is in Almond Bay, and you even said it last time you were visiting me, that he felt like the older brother you never had. Do you really want to motorboat your older brother?
Maggie:It’s annoying when you make sense.
Hattie:Just relax, stop worrying about “getting some” and just enjoy yourself.
Maggie:Fine. But come tonight…the boobs will be used as a lethal weapon.
Hattie:I shall pray for the people of Bora-Bora.
Maggie:Best that you do.
I set my phone down just as Makani walks up to me with a tray. “I took a chance and brought you some fresh fruit as well. I hope that’s okay.”
“Oh my goodness. I was actually going to ask for some after seeing that couple’s plate over there.”
Makani sets my water and plate of fruit down on the table next to me. “I had an inkling.” He tucks the tray under his arm and says, “Is there anything else I can get you, Miss Mitchell?”
“I don’t think so. This is great.”
“Well, I’ll be right over by the bar if you need anything.”
