Page 75 of Bridesmaid for Hire
“Brody, come on.”
“Fine,” I say, exhausted. “Yes, there is a distraction. But it’s not like I’m just sitting here, staring at her. I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing, but she’s just…getting in the way.”
“Not sure what to tell you about that, but if they like her, stick to her like you’re a wart she can’t burn off.”
“That’s disgusting.”
“That’s what I need you to do. Don’t let Deanna win this. She doesn’tdeserve it. Her idea isn’t original. Yours is and it has great promise. So…use Maggie to your advantage.”
I hate to admit it, but she’s right. I started this thing thinking that we were going to help each other out, but somehow, I’ve gotten off track.
“What do I do if I she drives me insane?”
“Fake it in front of the people that matter, hate her when you’re alone.”
Which is exactly what I’ve been doing, but what I think Jaleesa is suggesting is more about my attitude.
“You’re supposed to show them how smart you are. What a good guy you are so when you do your presentation, they already have a general understanding of who you are, giving you that edge. So…use Maggie to your advantage.”That means trying to ignore how much Maggie annoys—and, let’s be honest, arouses—me and focusing on the good willshe’ssecured just by being her.Use Maggie to my advantage.When in front of everyone else, that is.
“Yeah, you’re right.” I let out another sigh. “Thanks, Jaleesa. I appreciate it.”
“Call me anytime. We’re going to make this happen.”
When I hang up, I stare out toward the water and take a few deep, calming breaths. She’s right, I’ve been distracted. I’ve been thrown off the course I need to be taking. If Maggie is loved, then I need to glue myself to her and let the Hoppers know thatI’mthe reason she’s even here. They should be thanking me, not her.
Feeling a little settled, I pick up my phone and pull up my texts. One thing has been on my mind ever since Maggie said it. I shoot off a text to Gary and wait for his response.
Brody:Have you ever injured your balls so badly that they swelled?
Can’t let on that I know about his balance beam incident, becausehow would I have found that out without exposing the fact that I’m here in Bora-Bora with Maggie?
Gary:Dude. I took a balance beam to my junk once and had bruising all up and down my legs as well as the biggest balls ever to bounce on this earth. The size of my goddamn head. I had to wear a skirt the first night because my crotch wouldn’t fit into anything else. I still have that skirt to remind me of the tragedy I’ve suffered. But I came out on the other end strong.
He’s so fucking dramatic. One of the reasons I love him.
Brody:How come you never told me this?
Gary:Not a day a man particularly wants to relive.
Brody:True. Well, I just got nailed in the balls with a ball and threw up.
Gary:Oh Jesus. My testes just winced for you.
Brody:Currently soaking them. Oh, and did I mention, I’m on a work trip and puked in front of my boss?
Gary:My sympathies.
Brody:I knew you would understand.
Gary:Was it a lot of puke?
Brody:More than none.
Gary:Yeah, none is better than a little. How can I assist you in your time of need?
Brody:LOL. Send warm thoughts and well wishes.
Gary:Consider them sent. Other than the puking, how is the work trip?
