Page 45 of The Reason I Married Him
“Not to sound like a total douche, but I have a lot of money. We could build a tiny home to live in, something larger than what you have.”
She walks up to me and presses her finger to my chest. “Why don’t you take that money and buy yourself a mail-order bride?”
And with that, she takes off toward the chicken coop, where I hear her slam some wood around.
Wow, that went way worse than I thought it would.
Wyatt:I proposed to Aubree.
Laurel:OMG! Did you get down on one knee? Did she kick you to get up? Did she say yes?
Wyatt:She told me to find a mail-order bride. Makes me wonder if getting down on one knee would have convinced her that I’m the husband she needs.
Laurel:From what you’ve told me, doubtful. What are you going to do now?
Wyatt:I’m not giving up. I’m here for at least five more days. She gave her employees a long weekend, meaning I can drive her nuts without them knowing.
Laurel:Your action plan is to continue to poke the bear? Do you really think that’s a good idea?
Wyatt:Sometimes you have to keep poking until the bear cracks. I have no problem doing that. Although, I wonder if the general store carries protective cups for men. I might need one from the anger in that one.
Laurel:Look into overnighting one.
Wyatt:Might have to. But in all honesty, I think I saw a small sliver of interest in her eyes when I laid out the plans. She lost her mind a bit when I told her we’d have to pretend to like each other for a year and live together.
Laurel:Doesn’t she know that you’re great at sleeping on couches and being a slug? Do you need me to write a letter of recommendation on your behalf, stating just that?
Wyatt:Is this your attempt to be the helpful best friend?
Laurel:Am I not doing a good job?
Wyatt:Normally, you exceed expectations, right now . . . no.
Laurel:How am I supposed to help you when you think poking the bear is the way to go?
Wyatt:I’d like to know that when I get my balls chopped off, you’ll be there to nurse me back to health.
Laurel:Are you going to want to be nursed back to health if your balls are chopped off? You’re not a starfish. They won’t grow back.
Wyatt:You don’t know my body’s abilities.
Laurel:Aw, you started a fresh state of denial. It’s good to see you growing.
Wyatt:Right before your very eyes.
Laurel:Well, good luck with the poking because it seems like you’ll need it.
“What the hell are you doing?”Aubree asks as she comes up behind me. I have a landscape wheel in one hand and marking pins in the other.
“What does it look like I’m doing?” I ask.
After she stormed out and I spoke to Laurel, I decided to get some lunch and make a list of things I can do to push Aubree to her limit.I know what you’re thinking. Wyatt, that’s a dick thing to do.
And yes, you’d be correct. And before you sneer at that, please note that I asked her nicely several times and even offered up a tiny home, something I certainly thought she’d like. So I tried. She said no, and now we’re here.
Will this backfire on me? The likelihood is very high, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take.
Also, if I didn’t notice just a hint of interest, I’d probably go on my sad, lonely way. But I saw it in her eyes—it’s there. I just have to make her see what a fantastic idea it is.
