Page 200 of The Reason I Married Him
“Because if you weren’t, you could tell me.”
“No, I’m good.”
“I know tomorrow is kind of weird and maybe a little scary, so if you want to back out?—”
“I’m not backing out,” she says, her eyes fixed on mine. “I’m in, Wyatt. I told you that.”
“You did, but I just want to be sure. You have an out. I’m giving you one.”
“I don’t want an out,” she says. “We’re getting married tomorrow. That’s happening. I’m not nervous, I’m not scared, and I’m not changing my mind. You asked me to marry you, and I said yes, so we’re getting married.”
And fuck does that hit me hard. It was the same thing with Cadance, only with a different result. I asked her to marry me, and she said yes, but in the end, she didn’t show up.
She didn’t show up for me.
And Aubree, who has been nothing but annoyed by me, pressured by me, somewhat blackmailed by me, she’s showing up. She’s here for me. We’re in this together, and fuck does it break something inside me.
I roll to my back and stare up at the ceiling, my breath growing heavy.
“Wyatt,” Aubree says as she lifts up to look at me. “Are you okay?”
This heavy weight seems to secure itself on my chest as my worlds start to collide. It’s like I buried it away for so fucking long, and now that I’m here, with a woman guaranteeing me that she will marry me tomorrow—even though she doesn’t love me—I’m reminded how I felt when Cadance didn’t show up.
I never fully worked out those feelings.
I stuffed them away and let something else take over my mind. That something being the cabin. Then Aubree. Making her happy and content.Do I just keep focusing on other things and not dealing with my grief?
“Hey,” Aubree says as her hand falls to my chest. “Is it something I said? Because I’m sorry?—”
I shake my head. “No, it’s nothing you said,” I say while blowing out a heavy breath and dragging my hands over my chest.
“Are you sure?” she asks. “If you brought this up because you want an out, then that’s fine, Wyatt. Just know that I won’t take the land for free.”
I’m silent for a second, trying to calm myself. This is exactly why I don’t talk about Cadance.
Because I was fine.
I wasn’t even thinking about her. I don’t even love her anymore. I’m not sure I ever truly loved her like I should have. Maybe she did us both a favor, but it doesn’t neglect the panic I feel right now on the night before my wedding. The realization that this could happen again, my heart could be tampered with again.
“Wyatt,” Aubree says soothingly as her hand slowly rubs against my chest, “is that what you want? You want an out?” When I don’t answer right away—because I’m still trying to calm myself—she starts to pull away, shifting her warmth off me. And that’s when I snap out of it and grab her hand to prevent her from moving away from me.
When our eyes connect, I say, “You’ll become Mrs. Preston tomorrow, have no doubt about that.”
“Okay,” she says. I catch her throat contract when she swallows. But the wary look in her eyes knocks me in the stomach, and I realize how much I probably just worried her, so I prop myself up on my elbow to look her in the eyes.
“You did nothing, Aubree. If anything, you did everything, and I just think it hit me all at once what you’re actually doing for me.” Yes, it’s a deliberate lie, but the last thing I want to do is freak her out about Cadance and my concerns. “Guilt is a consuming thing.”
She wets her lips. “Are you sure?”
“Positive,” I say as I gently shift her onto her back and move in close. I cup her cheek gently and stroke her face with my thumb, staring into her beautiful eyes. “Everything is fine as long as everything is okay with you.”
“I’m fine,” she answers. “I want to do this tomorrow.”
“Promise?” I ask her.
She nods. “Promise.”
And because insecurity rushes through me, I say, “Can we also promise something else? That no matter where this adventure leads us, we don’t let anything come between us? We’re only good together as a unit. The minute we part is the minute this unravels.”
