Page 136 of The Reason I Married Him
Yup, Aubree is going to kill me.
Kill me dead.
Dee Dee starts shushing the crowd, quieting them down just as Ethel’s voice singingAt Lastfilters to the back of the inn.
“That’s our cue,” Dee Dee says. “First group, go.”
A wave of purple flower bonnet dancers extend their legs and start floating toward the lawn, leaping in the air. I lean to the left, dangerously testing the balance of my caboose as I attempt to get a view of what’s happening. If I just lean a touch more . . . yup, I spot her. Aubree. She’s standing in the middle of the dance floor all by herself, looking confused as flower people start circling her.
Hattie has joined Hayes on stage and stands behind him, her arm looped around his shoulders as he plays. A crowd starts to form, and oh my God, Aubree is going to murder me when this is all over.
The music picks up, and more of the dancers file out onto the main lawn on Dee Dee’s direction.
“And smile. And smile. And smile,” Dee Dee says while making a smile motion with her finger. “That’s it. Remember your positions.”
Can I ask what my position is, because if I knew things were going to be this extravagant, I would have, for one, said no, and if I didn’t get my way, I would have at least asked to be a part of the rehearsal. I had plenty of time to rehearse this week. And if I didn’t, I would have made time because right about now, I’m feeling all sorts of nervous.
Not because I’m afraid she’s going to say no, but because I’m terrified I’m going to humiliate myself.
Humiliate her.
For the love of God . . . humiliate Ethel!
“And go train,” Dee Dee says.
Wait, what?
Go train?
Rodney starts the train, and we jolt forward.
“Jesus,” I mutter as I grip the handle in front of me.
“You ready?” Dee Dee asks as I start to move toward her.
“No,” I say. “What’s happening? What do I do?”
“If you don’t know what you’re doing in that caboose, then I can’t help you.” She holds her headset and says, “And go train.”
We jolt forward again, this time picking up the pace as we head right out to the dance floor.
And I can guarantee you I’ve never felt more ridiculous in my entire life as I sit in the back of this kiddie train with my knees practically up to my neck because my large body is not supposed to fit into a small cart like this. Dancers move around with petals in their hands, starting to cover me as they walk along the train, indicating there will be a grand reveal.
That’s me. I’m the grand reveal.
The prize at the end of this drama piece.
Yup, Aubree is going to murder me in my sleep tonight. There’s no doubt about it.
Ethel coos into the microphone, her voice carrying through the cliffs that lead to the ocean. And even though I’m terrified about what will happen next, I can admit that Ethel’s voice is actually really good. A part of me assumed that the quirky former Broadway star now inn owner wouldn’t quite live up to the hype, but she does. I’m really impressed.
But enough about Ethel, back to me.
Still covered by what I can only assume are felt petals attached to a dowel, the train moves around in a circle on the dance floor. Around and around we go until . . . we come to a stop.
The music dies down, leading into instrumentals.
And then . . . the petals lift, and I am revealed. Like a fat man in a tiny suit—get the reference? But instead, I’m the six-foot-three man in the kiddie train caboose.
