Page 91 of The Way I Hate Him
“True,” I say and adjust my ponytail. “Uh, so I was just talking to my boss, and he said I have to go to San Francisco tomorrow. We leave tonight. Any chance we could talk and eat at the same time?”
“I don’t want to talk in front of Mac,” he says.
“Any chance she could watch a show and eat?”
“I guess so,” he says. “It’ll be her best night, that’s for sure.”
“Thanks, I appreciate it.”
“Sure,” he says as he slips on an oven mitt, eyes laser focused on the bread. “Are you liking the new internship?”
“Yeah, it’s pretty good,” I say, feeling awkward.
“Learning anything?”
“Uh . . . a little,” I answer. “It’s mainly condensing information. Elements of business.” Facts. I’ve learned that women have no problem printing and sending naked photos to strangers, and I’ve also been very busy sifting through letters. “I’m gaining experience with the bonus of an income.”
The front door opens, and Aubree walks in with a pastry box, most likely almond cherry cookies.
“Hi, Aunt Aubree,” Mac says as she tosses Chewy Charles up in the air. “Flies into the air. Lands on his butt. Breaks his butt.”
“Hey, Mac. I brought home some cookies.”
“Yay!” Mac cheers and reaches for the box, but Aubree holds it high.
“Dinner first.”
“And you get to eat dinner and watch a show,” Ryland says as he removes the perfectly toasted garlic bread.
“SuperKitties! Can I watchSuperKitties? Please!”
“Sure,” Ryland says. “First, potty and wash hands.”
Mac takes off toward the bathroom, and we spend the next few minutes setting up our plates, then getting Mac situated withSuperKittiesand her dinner. Once everyone is seated, I say, “I told Ryland I have to leave for San Francisco tonight. So I was hoping we could talk during dinner.”
“Why are you going to San Francisco?” Aubree asks.
“For my internship.”
She nods. “Oh, cool. Well, I’ll let Ryland talk.” She picks up a piece of garlic bread and takes a giant bite.
I turn toward Ryland, and he’s cutting his lasagna as he says, “I don’t even know where to fucking start.”
“What do you mean?” Aubree says. “Start with the conversation Cassidy had with us in the hospital. That’s all there is to talk about.”
“What conversation?” I ask, looking back and forth between the two of them.
Ryland sets down his fork and knife. “It was a few days before she passed when you couldn’t make it into town. She wanted to talk to us before you arrived because she knew her passing would take the biggest toll on you and Mac. She was worried about the both of you and how you would handle her death.” Ryland takes a deep breath. “Her biggest wish for you was to finish school. She knew how hard you were working and how important it is for you to earn your degree, so she said she didn’t want you getting distracted by losing her and trying to help out around the farm, the store, and with Mac.Shewanted you to finish school. That was the top priority. She didn’t care if the farm or store failed, but she wanted Mac to be loved and taken care of and for you to finish school. She made us promise.”
“She . . . she did?” I ask, guilt swarming me, swallowing me whole. Oh great.I’m letting Cassidy down as well? Fuck. Why the hell could I not have just passed the stupid courses?
“Yes,” Aubree says. “And so if we’re distant, if it seems like we’re pushing you away, it’s because we’re trying to get you to a point where you can finish, where you can accomplish that goal. You’re not to worry about us here back at home.”
“But that doesn’t make any sense. We’re family. Why wouldn’t I help you?”
“Because Cassidy wanted you to focus on school,” Aubree repeats.
“But why? It’s not like I truly know what I’m doing after all of this,” I say. “Why does it matter if I finish this semester or next?”
