Page 53 of The Way I Hate Him
“So then, maybe you try to find yourself again.”
I glance over at him. “Don’t you think that’s something you should be doing?”
“Probably.” He shrugs and looks out toward the ocean.
After a few minutes, I say, “You know, you’re not as bad as you seem.”
“Should I take that as a compliment?”
“Probably. I don’t hand them out often.”
He stands and lends his hand out to me. “You should get back. The sun will set soon, and you shouldn’t be out here alone.”
“I’m not alone. You’re weirdly here.”
“Yeah, that’s not good either,” he says and then helps pull me to my feet.
We head back toward the Almond Staircase. “I don’t want you to think this changes anything,” I say. “I still hate you from the tips of my toes.”
“Good,” he replies. “Wouldn’t want it any other way.”
* * *
Hattie:When do you think you can come visit?
I stare at the slanted ceiling in my studio apartment that feels more like a walk-in closet. It’s lost its luster. I don’t feel my sister in this space like when I first arrived, and I know it’s because of my strained relationship with my family. Therefore, the relationship I had with Cassidy is strained.
Talking to Hayes on the beach felt nice, like someone was listening to me. Someone cared to listen to me. And I know when I say that in my head, it sounds bratty because Jesus, Ryland and Aubree are going through a lot right now, but why block me out? It’s almost like being in school has isolated me from everything, and I don’t understand why.
So now I’m talking to Hayes Farrow, probably the last person on earth I ever would have considered someone I told my feelings to. And oddly, it felt sort of right. He’s easy to talk to, which freaks me out because I don’t want him to be easy to talk to. I don’t want him to be nice to me. I want him to be an asshole. I want him to insult me, blackmail me.
NOT buy me pickles and walk alongside me on the beach when I felt so utterly alone.
My phone dings with a text.
Maggie:Why do I have a feeling that you want me to come earlier?
Hattie:I need you, Mags.
Maggie:Say no more. I’m there for you. Want me to come this weekend?
Hattie:Can you?
Maggie:I can make it work. But I require an almond extravaganza, including my favorite almond cherry cookies that you make.
Hattie:Done and done.
Maggie:Care to tell me what’s going on so I can prepare myself?
Hattie:Things are rocky with my family, and I’m resorting to leaning on Hayes Farrow for emotional support. That can’t happen.
Maggie:So basically DEFCON 1.
Hattie:Precisely.
Maggie:Got it. Manning my bosom now.
ChapterEight
