Page 3 of The Way I Hate Him
“Says who? It’s just like earning your bachelor’s.”
“I’m trying to help you out. Why won’t you let me do that?”
“Because you’re bullshitting me,” I say with a sigh. “God, Maggie, I don’t want to be here.”
“I told you, you could stay with me.”
“In your San Francisco studio apartment where you sleep on a futon because you’d rather have space for your thriving business?”
Yup, my best friend, Maggie, has a thriving wedding planning business. She’s been featured in many bridal magazines and is fully booked until next year. She’s been interviewed by a few key celebrities in the Bay Area who might just throw her business into the big leagues.
And she’s only twenty-three.
And then there’s me. Not that we should compare ourselves, but it’s hard not to when I see her living her dream, and I’m still trying to obtain a master’s in business management but flunking out.
What am I going to do with that degree? I have no idea . . . manage a business?
God, I’m so fucked.
“The futon is my friend,” Maggie says. “And I told you it folds out. There’s nothing like a good snuggle at night.”
“Not happening. Anyway, I haven’t seen Matt in a while. He’s returning from tour, and it would be good to rekindle our love.”
“Rekindle your love . . . You know, I’m in the business of love, and even hearing you say that is making me gag.”
“What do you want me to say? Fuck on every surface?”
“Ew, is that what you’re going to do?”
“Ew? Why did you say ew?” I ask.
“Because Matt gives me the ick. You could do so much better than him.”
“So you’ve said,” I say with a sigh as I turn onto Almond Ave, aka the main street of Almond Bay, California.
Population 3,239, Almond Bay is on the Northern Californian coast, right above the not-so-famous bay in the shape of an almond. With one whole stoplight in town, we’re best known as the birthplace and hometown of the great Ethel O’Donnell-Kerr. Haven’t heard of her? Shame on you. Once a bright Broadway star notorious for her renowned leading role inAnnie Get Your Gun, she spent over thirty-five years on stage and is now the proud owner of our town inn, Five Six Seven Eight. The unofficial town mayor, she makes it her business to know everyone else’s business and then selectively spreads the news according to what the news is. Not to mention, she’s the community event coordinator, therefore constantly puts on plays, dances, and activities to keep the town together. She’s exhausting.
But most importantly, Ethel O’Donnell-Kerr is the matron of the Peach Society.
If you look at Almond Bay from above, the roads connect like an A and have four corners on each end of town. Members of the Peach Society own these four corners. Let me break it down for you:
As you know, Ethel O’Donnell-Kerr owns Five Six Seven Eight. Located in the southeast part of town next to the cliffs that overlook the ocean. Beautiful location.
Second is Dr. Elizabeth Gomez’s veterinary clinic. She’s the loving, kindhearted lady who you’ll find rolling around in the town’s park with any animal that approaches her. The nicest of the four, her clinic is situated in the southwest part of town, right next to the post office and the pharmacy/doctor’s office.
Third is Coleman’s General Store, owned by Dee Dee Coleman in the northeast part of town. The general store has been passed down from generation to generation, and with every generation, it’s been given a makeover. It currently has immaculate hardwood floors and beautiful shelving stockpiled with everything you might need. Dee Dee sets the gold standard of what’s to be expected from the store owners in town.
And last, By the Slice in the town’s northwest, next to the drive-in theater—which is subsequently owned by all four members of the Peach Society. Keesha Johnson is the owner of By the Slice, the pizza shop here in town. Known best for the dip varieties offered for her crisp crust, they range from ranch to honey to something a touch spicier. She has brought in multiple Food Network shows to try her pizza, which has put Almond Bay on the map as a food destination. We don’t say that around Ethel, though, because as you know . . . Ethel is the main attraction.
These four cornerstones are the holy grail of Almond Bay as well as their owners. They decide what’s allowed in town, hold every business to a high standard, and keep the residents in check.
And why are they called the Peach Society when clearly our town has gone all in on almonds? Because the cornerstones of our town, the holy grail of women, are all lesbians, and that’s what they decided to call themselves.
I’m here for it.
“You’re seriously going to stay with him?” Maggie asks, clearly disgusted with me.
Matt isn’tthatbad.
