Page 232 of The Way I Hate Him
Don’t you want to get over this fucking hill you’ve been climbing for how many goddamn years? Isn’t it time to stop running from the hurt of the past, accept that it happened, and move on?
I want that. I want all of that.
Forever.
“I want to be happy,” I say.
“Good.” He stands. “Then let’s go make you happy.” I lift a brow at him, and he rolls his eyes. “I mean, let’s go get Hattie.”
“Right now?”
He tugs on my arm, making me stand. “Right now.” He pushes me toward the door. “I might have had patience with you about hurting my sister, but I’m not going to let you make her wait any longer. Let’s go.”
* * *
HATTIE
“We shouldn’t have eatenthree donuts yesterday,” Maggie says as we rock on the farmhouse’s porch. “Because then we could have at least had some today.”
“You should have gotten two dozen, knowing that we’d each have three, Mac would have one, and Ryland and Aubree would have demolished the rest.”
“It was really just poor judgment on my end.”
“It was.”
She tilts her head to the side. “Are you feeling better?”
“Sort of,” I answer. “I mean, I’m not crying into a pillow, so that’s progress.”
“But you still ache for him?”
“Unfortunately.”
“What if you went over to his place and maybe tried to talk to him?” Maggie asks.
“And risk getting hurt again?” I shake my head. “He doesn’t want me.”
“The finger graze tells me differently.”
I pull my legs into my chest. “I thought you were thinking he was an asshole, and we weren’t supposed to like him at all.”
In all seriousness, she looks at me and says, “I want you happy. I could go either way. I can love him because you love him, or I can hate him because he hurt you. I’m here for you, so you take the lead, and I’ll follow.”
I rest my chin on my arms and say, “You’re a really good friend, Maggie. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Remember that when I’m knee-deep in Speedos on my vacation.”
“For your sake, I hope that you are.”
From a distance, Ryland’s truck heads down the driveway earlier than usual. Although I know that Mac is with Aubree at the store today for her after-preschool activity, something we all agreed would be good for her since she spent so much time there with Cassidy. Technically, I tried to go to the store today, but Aubree told me I needed to get my head on straight first, which I understood. I don’t need to take over the store and fill my emptiness with work. It’s not healthy. She’s learned from experience.
AndI’velearned a lot too over the last few days. I’ve thought about Cassidy’s words, read over her letters many times.
Fall in love. Fall out of love. And fall in love again.
Make mistakes.
Laugh about the tribulations.
