Page 225 of The Way I Hate Him
“For who exactly?” Abel asks. “Because from what I know, Hattie is hurting, you’re hurting, and nothing good has come from this breakup.”
“Hattie’s hurting?” I ask, sitting a little taller.
“Last I spoke to Ryland, he had to force her to move in with him because she was just crying in her bed in her apartment day in and day out. No one knew you broke up with her until her best friend asked Aubree to check on her because she hadn’t heard from her.”
“Shit,” I mutter.
“Yeah, exactly. So remind me how this is helping anyone?”
“It’s not that easy,” I say. “I know I messed up, Abel, but I also . . . I’m broken, man. I’m not in a position to be able to be there for someone. To be there for Hattie, who needs someone strong in her life right now.”And the real crux of the problem? As much as I do love her...she’s human.“Not to mention, how do I know she won’t turn her back on me one day?”
“Oh, like you turned your back on her? Pretty sure she’s learning from experience right now.” I turn away, and because he’s Abel, he won’t let me sit here and stew, so he adds, “How’s everything going with the extortion?”
I brush my hand across the top of my thigh, pushing off an imaginary piece of lint. “Ruben located the security camera, and it was Matt. So my lawyers are drawing up the paperwork to scare the shit out of him, and my mother for that matter. Ruben is also drawing up a restraining order for my mother so I won’t be bothered by her anymore.”
“Wow, okay, so that’s pretty much taken care of.”
“Yeah,” I mutter.
“So then why are you sitting across from me like you’re still waiting for the worst to happen?”
“The worst has happened,” I say as I stand from the table.
“Let me guess, I’ve annoyed you to the point that now you’re going to leave.”
“Yup,” I say while I push my chair in. I pick up my bottle, drain the rest of it, and then start toward the door as Abel stops me by grabbing my wrist.
When I look down at him, he says, “You’re better than this, Hayes. You’ve grown. You’ve evolved. Just because it’s scary doesn’t mean you need to avoid it. Hattie belongs with you. We all see it. You just need to see it.”
He lets go of my wrist, and instead of responding—because frankly, I have nothing to say—I make my way toward the door. I only had one beer, but just to be sure, I feel like a walk around the beach will help me clear my mind and make sure that I’m good to drive my bike.
I nod toward the cashier and then push open the door to The Hot Pickle, turn the corner toward the beach, and run smack into Hattie on the sidewalk.
Fuck.
She tumbles into my chest, Maggie right next to her, and a slew of apologies come out of her mouth as I right her by the shoulders and put about a foot of distance between us. When she finally looks up at me, another apology about to fall from her lips, her eyes widen.
“H-Hayes,” she says, looking just as stunned as I feel.
I take another step back and stick my hands in my pockets, preventing myself from feeling her again. “Sorry, didn’t see you there.”
“I . . . I didn’t see you either.”
That much is evident. Nor were either of us expecting to run into each other.
Awkwardly, I shift as I say, “I’ll, uh, I’ll get out of your way.”
But I don’t move.
Not even a fucking inch because seeing her has stunned as me, renders me useless in this moment as my heart thumps against my ribcage, begging to reach out to her.
Hold her.
Take her into my arms and never let her go. Instead, I stare at her.
I notice the faintest darkness under her eyes, indicating countless nights of lost sleep. Mine rival hers with depths of regret and hatred for myself. Her hair is pulled back into a high ponytail but is slightly askew, making her look so fucking adorable that it’s painful to have her here in front of me.
Yet I still don’t move.
