Page 212 of The Way I Hate Him
We just said we love each other.
And yes, as I stand here on her doorstep, staring into her mesmerizing eyes, I know for a fact that she has the potential not only to hurt me but to obliterate me. I don’t think I’ve ever trusted anyone the way I’ve put trust in Hattie.
I’ve let her into my home.
I’ve counted on the fact that even though she was my enemy’s sister—for a moment—she wasn’t going to sabotage me in any way, especially after my former assistant betrayed my trust.
I’ve told her about my past. I’ve invited her into my insecurities.
She knows more about me than anyone else on this planet, and I know, with one word, with one slip-up, she can be the one person who takes me down.
Not my mom.
Not my dad.
Not an old feud or an assistant who seems to use my fame for his benefit.
Her.
And as much as I love her, I can’t . . . I just fucking can’t.
“Us,” I say. “I can’t do us.”
Panic sets into her eyes.
“What do you mean you can’t do us?” she asks.
“I mean, this is all too much for me, and I don’t think we should do this anymore.”
Her lip quivers, and she asks, “Are you breaking up with me?”
I can’t look her in the eyes as I nod.
“No,” she says, pushing at my chest. “You look me in the eyes and tell me you’re breaking up with me.”
Caught off guard by her forcefulness, I slowly look up at her and say, “I’m breaking up with you, Hattie.”
She rubs her lips together, folds her arms at her chest, and then she says, “You fucking coward. You just told me you loved me. Was that all a show?”
“No,” I say. “I do love you.”
“No, you don’t,” she says, her voice rising. “If you loved me, Hayes, you wouldn’t be standing at my doorstep, attempting to break my heart because you’re too scared to put yourself out there.”
“I’m not scared to put myself out there,” I say. “I’m scared to trust anyone. Every person I’ve ever trusted has ripped that trust right out of my chest.”
“So you’re assuming I’m going to do that?”
“I can’t stick around to find out.”
“Wow.” She shakes her head. “So just like that, your mom shows up, and we’re done?”
I stuff my hands in my pockets, and I sigh. “I wish I was stronger, Hattie.” I lift my eyes to meet hers, and seeing the tears well in them nearly breaks me. “I told you I wasn’t good for you. I warned you.”
A tear cascades down her cheek. “Don’t, Hayes. This is about you.”
“This is about trust,” I say. “Look at Ryland. The moment something went awry, he walked away. My mother walked away, you . . . you walked away.”
“I didn’t—”
