Page 203 of The Way I Hate Him
“Jesus, that’s harsh,” he says as he sets down the puzzle. “What’s with the hate on pigeons?”
“I lived in San Francisco for many years, and the pigeons there are out of control. And get this, there’s a pigeon rescue where people actually donate money to save them. Who’s deranged enough to do that? The homeless people need food, water, and shelter, and billionaires donate to save the pigeons. Honestly, what is the world coming to?”
He picks up another puzzle. “Making a mental note never to bring up pigeons again.” He shows me the box. “What about this one?”
It’s a picture of a library, but all the books are the same color, making it one of those impossible puzzles that a crazy aunt or mother-in-law would purchase for you for Christmas, thinking you’d like it. However, it was made purely to make the novice puzzler lose their mind.
I prop one hand on my hip. “Hayes, I love you. You know that, right?”
“As I found out today, yes.”
“Okay, then you need to know that your puzzle choices are atrocious, and I truly hope you never buy me a puzzle.”
He sets the puzzle down and sighs. “Then tell me what you look for in a puzzle that would appease you.”
“Well, I’m glad you asked.” I turn toward him. “Cassidy and I have always loved a puzzle we could do in a few hours. We never wanted something that would take us longer than one night. It needs to be easy but also be slightly challenging. We like color blocking, so when you separate the edge pieces from the middle, you could also separate by color. Landscapes are okay, but there can’t be too much of one thing, like . . . too much grass is stressful. Too much sky, etc. And the picture has to be clear, none of this pixilated bullshit. And bonus points for a wooden mosaic puzzle. Those are our favorite.”
“Okay.” He nods and looks around. “Well, I think I’m going to sit this one out and let you make the choice.”
“Smart.” I pat him on the shoulder. “Give me twenty, and I’ll find us the perfect puzzle.”
* * *
“You understandthe irony in all of this, right?” Hayes asks as he pulls the puzzle he bought me out of the bag.
“I told you, we’re not talking about it.”
He sets the puzzle on the counter, letting me stare at the picture.
“It’s pigeons.”
“I know,” I groan. “We don’t need to keep talking about it. I told you I understood the relevance of my choice, and I’m not happy with myself, but the portraits of pigeons got to me, and the one with a piece of bread around its torso made me chuckle, and I know it would have made Cassidy chuckle. So let’s just move on and be happy we found a puzzle.”
“Makes me wonder if we should donate to the pigeons in honor of your birthday.”
I point my finger at him. “You watch your mouth. It’s bad enough I had to eat my words on my birthday. I refuse to give in to the absurdity of saving the pigeons.”
I carry the puzzle to his large dining room table that can easily accommodate two adult bodies without a problem. I know this from experience.
Hayes grabs something from the fridge while I open up the puzzle box, where I’m pleased to see the pieces in a paper bag rather than plastic. Ugh, stupid pigeon puzzle hitting all the marks for me. It was also made of recycled materials.
“Thought you might want a snack,” Hayes says as he sets a jar of pickles in front of me. But not just any pickles . . . THE pickles.
I look up at him, then back down at the pickles . . . and back up at him. “Wow, you realize I’m a pretty easy bet when it comes to sex, right? You don’t need to be breaking down every wall I’ve ever erected.”
He chuckles and presses a kiss to my cheek. “Not looking to get in your pants, baby, just looking to show you how much I love you.”
“And it seems like a lot.” I grip the pickles and softly say, “Thank you. This means a lot to me.”
“Once again, anything for you.” He pulls a chair close to me, takes a seat, and drapes one arm over the back of mine. “Now, what are we doing?”
“Well, we need to put a movie on first, then start sorting the pieces.”
“Right.” He gets up and grabs the Blu-rays from the island. “Which one first?”
“Well, Cassidy would make us watchSixteen Candlesfirst, but I’m thinking we doCan’t Buy Me Love.”
“Saving Jake Ryan for last, I get it.” He winks at me as I scoff.
