Page 185 of The Way I Hate Him
“We both know that’s not healthy for anyone. You did this because Ryland needs a place to stay other than the couch, because there needs to be a new normal. And we even moved pictures and trinkets into Mac’s room so she has more of her mom in her room. I promise you, this will be okay.”
“I should have asked Ryland for permission. I mean, this is his house now, and I just went and renovated a room without asking.”
“You painted it; you didn’t renovate. And he’s not going to be mad. He’ll be grateful.”
“I don’t know,” I say, starting to feel nauseous.
The telltale rumble of Ryland’s large truck sounds.Oh crap. Oh crap. Oh crap.
He flies down the driveway and parks in front of the house. We have the door open, but the screen door is closed. With a backpack over his shoulder, he walks up the porch and then stops when he opens the door and sees us standing in the living room.
“Uh, what’s going on?” he asks. His eyes fall to our connected hands and then back up to us. “Are you here to tell me something?”
Oh God, I can see how this looks.
I quickly release Hayes’s hand. “No. Nothing to announce. We’re not announcing anything, just holding hands, but not like here to surprise you and be like a baby is on the way or anything like that.” Ryland lifts his brow. “Not that we have done anything to make a baby.” Hayes shifts uncomfortably next to me. “I mean . . . yes . . . we have. We’ve done the baby-making stuff, but with no intention of making a child.”
“Jesus,” Hayes mutters.
“But I’m on birth control, so no need to worry about that in case you were worried, but from the look on your face, you weren’t worried, more horrified because I just told you, your little sister is having sex with your former best friend, turned ex-enemy, who is now your mere acquaintance.” I look up at Hayes. “Is that what you are? Acquaintances?” When he doesn’t answer, I continue. “So yeah, we’re having sex, but you probably already knew that since Ethel heard us this morning. I completely forgot about The Almond Store below us, so that was a fun treat for everyone. Did Aubree tell you? I’m sure she told you. Ethel probably put out a newsletter about my screaming. Uhh, not that you need to know I was screaming—”
“For the love of God, Hattie,” Hayes says next to me.
“I’m sorry. Jesus, what am I even saying to you?” I gesture toward Ryland as he just stands there, blinking.
“Uh . . . I have no fucking clue, but if you could stop talking about you having sex, I’d really appreciate it,” Ryland says, looking slightly green.
Don’t blame him. I’m a little sick myself.
“Yup. All done with that topic and moving on,” I say, sweat forming on the back of my neck. “We’re here for a reason, and it’s to show you something.”
Tentatively, Ryland sets his backpack down in the entryway. “Okay, what is it?”
“Well, you see, it all started back when—”
“Come upstairs,” Hayes says, cutting me off from whatever tangent I was about to go on, and I’m grateful for it.
Hayes takes my hand in his, and he leads us up the stairs, Ryland trailing us. When we reach the room, Hayes steps to the side and pushes the door open, revealing the bedroom we set up for my brother.
A deep slate-gray paint coats the walls—Hayes picked out the color, and I love it—black curtains frame the windows, and a charcoal area rug covers the light-colored floor. A fake ficus is in the corner of the room, bringing a pop of color, and the hunter-green bedding almost looks black when the light isn’t shining on it. The wood and iron nightstands we chose go great with the aesthetic, and the black and white pictures of a baseball field add that personal touch I know Ryland would appreciate.
Hayes wraps his arm around my front and holds me close as Ryland walks into the room with a look of shock on his face.
“Before you freak out or question what happened to Cassidy’s things, I went through it all and put almost everything in storage. I put some items in Mac’s room as well as dressed it up a bit for her in there. But we saved a good portion of her clothes that we knew would have sentimental value and donated the rest. All blankets have been saved, one placed on Mac’s bed. And the pictures on her dresser have been placed around the house for everyone to enjoy.”
Ryland glances around the room, still in shock, so I approach him and place my hand on his back.
“You deserve this, Ryland. You can’t sleep on the couch forever, and I know you’d never have done this yourself. So Hayes and I did it for you. You’re taking on a huge responsibility by raising Mac and giving her a loving home. You deserve a space where you can relax.”
He drags his hand over his mouth. “I can’t believe you did this.”
“Is that a happy you can’t believe we did this or a mad one?” I ask, fear prickling up my spine.
Ryland turns toward me. “A good one.” And for the first time in my freaking life, I see tears fill his eyes. I didn’t even see him cry when Cassidy died. He’s always kept it together for us. He’s always been our rock, but to see him get emotional over his new room? It . . . it brings tears to my eyes as well. “This is . . . wow.” He shakes his head in disbelief and then glances at Hayes. “You helped?”
Hayes stands in the doorway, his hands stuffed in his jeans pockets. “I did.”
Ryland nods. “Thanks, man. That means a lot.” He then turns toward me and takes my hand in his. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to thank you enough for this because you’re right; I never would have done it myself. I’d have slept on that couch until Mac turned eighteen.” Then he pulls me into a hug and holds me tight. It’s all I need to turn into a bumbling mess.
