Page 165 of The Way I Hate Him
Hattie:I was joking about that.
Hayes:Doesn’t matter. It’s stuck in my head, and that’s how I’ll forever remember him now.
Hattie:Who? Scrotum Pincher? Hopefully you never see him again then.
Hayes:Doubt I will. He won’t want to show up anywhere near me, especially with how much he stole.
Hattie:Why did you let him steal so much?
Hayes:I didn’t let him. I think I was just too goddamn out of it to even care.
Hattie:I thought you stopped doing drugs a while ago.
Hayes:I did, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t in a fog. I’ve been in one for a while. Going through the motions, never letting myself feel anything.
Hattie:Why?
Hayes:A year-long tour desensitized me. I just started shutting down after a while. The demand was high from the label. I lost the love for it all, and I just . . . shut down.
Hattie:That’s so sad.
Hayes:It is what it is.
Hattie:I wish I was there so I could give you a hug.
Hayes:How about I come by tomorrow and help you with Cassidy’s room? You can give me a hug then?
Hattie:I’d love that.
Hayes:Good. I’ll see you tomorrow then.
Hattie:See you tomorrow. XOXO
ChapterNineteen
HAYES
Hands in my pockets, I wait in front of the farmhouse screen door for Hattie to answer.
I slept like shit again, but it’s because I anticipated coming over. Since kissing this girl, I feel like I’m losing my goddamn mind. I want to be near her all the time. I think about her constantly, and I’m trying not to look pathetic by begging her to spend every waking moment with me.
She still has work to do at my house, but I think it would be good to switch it up and go to Cassidy’s house. I know that if she came over to my house, I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off her. At least here, I’d feel weird fucking her where Ryland sleeps.
It’s a good cock block.
The door opens, and Hattie’s beautiful smile shines through the screen door. “You’re here,” she says as she opens the screen door and flings her arms around me.
Chuckling, I return the hug and tilt her chin up so I can get a taste of her perfect lips.
“Hey,” I say softly.
She presses the side of her head to my chest and gives me a hug.This. Her hugs.How canherhugs feel like everything I need in life? I can breathe easier.She cares about me.The sky seems bluer when she’s in my arms.She listens with her whole heart.I can actually hear the birds chirping.She’s filled my emptiness with her bright light.And the beating of my heart in my chest reminds me just how fucking alive I am.It’s like the bland, monotonous headspace I’ve been trapped in has evaporated.
All from a hug...from her.
Her arms release me, and she brings her hand to mine. Smiling up at me, she says, “Want to go see the room?”
“I do,” I answer.
