Page 143 of The Way I Hate Him
“For you.”
I shrug. “Best you realize now that I’ll win more in this relationship.”
He undoes a letter and says, “Is that what this is? A relationship?”
“What else would you call it? Romantic involvement?”
“Yes, that’s much more eloquent.” He chuckles, and I nudge my shoulder against his.
“You act like this is new to you. You found Cassidy’s letter, which means you were looking through things.”
“Not through these bags of mail. I was looking through my tour shit,” he says. “I was pissed the night I found it and ended up kicking a box. Her letter fell out.”
“Pissed about how things went down in San Francisco?”
“Yeah, that trip was . . . fuck, it was miserable. So many things went wrong. I couldn’t comfort you the way I wanted. And then you told me to treat you awfully, and because I’m a stupid, prideful man, I decided to do just that, only hurting you more.” He takes my hand in his and brings my knuckles to his lips. “And then...Odette.The...job.Jesus Christ, I’m surprised you’re letting me hold your hand right now after all of that.”
“It was a breaking point, that’s for sure,” I say.
“For me too. I was so mad at myself because I pushed you away too much. When you said you were quitting, the realization that I wouldn’t see you every day, that hit me really fucking hard.” His battered eyes plead with me. “Would you have not come back?”
“Probably not,” I say. “It was too hard being around you and not being able to give in to my feelings.”
“Same, but I was taking every second, every moment I had with you. I was not giving that up.”
“Good thing we don’t have to worry about that now.” He kisses my knuckles again. “So when you found the letter from Cassidy, what did you do?”
“Had a minor meltdown because I was so fucking grateful.” He chuckles. “Then I went to The Almond Store, but when you weren’t there, I decided to go to Sozzled because Joe told me to come sing a song whenever I wanted. I thought it might help with my writing, getting out there again, but then I saw you, and well . . . I decided to sing you a song instead.”
I feel my cheeks blush. “You did such a beautiful job. I was transfixed. I think it’s the main reason I had enough courage to kiss you that night.”
“I’m glad you did. It’s been more than a feeling for a while with you, Hattie.”
I look to the side at him. “You’re going to make it hard for me to ever think of another man, aren’t you?”
“It’s my number one priority right now.”
* * *
“You can siton one of the barstools, you know,” Hayes says as I cross my legs on top of his island counter.
“I like it better here.” I lift my piece of pizza and take a bite. “Thank you for dinner, by the way. Would you consider this to be our first date?”
He shakes his head as he stands next to me, not taking a seat either. “Nah, I’d need to pick you up, bring you flowers, the works. Make it official.”
“You don’t have to bring me flowers, but I bet Mac would like some.”
“Yeah, get on her good side?” He smirks. “But to answer your question, this is just a hangout.”
I love that smirk so much. It’s odd seeing him use it so freely. It makes me realize how guarded he was before. It was so rare to see his smile. But this Hayes, he’s relaxed, like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders, and I’m sure it has. “Okay, so when is our first date?”
He picks at the cheese on his pizza. “Whenever you’re free.”
“Do you think I have a complicated calendar? I just got done crying in my sister’s room for a week. I’m pretty free.”
His lips soften. “How about tomorrow night?”
“Wow, don’t you think that’s a little soon?” He gives me an exhausted look, and I chuckle. “Just kidding, that would be perfect. What do you have planned? Do I need to dress up?”
