Page 166 of The Way I Hate Him
She brings me into the house, and I scan the floor for any toys that might trip me, but it’s all cleaned up. She leads me up the creaky staircase to the second floor. The house is not very big at all, truly perfect for a small family. We move down the cream hallway, past what I’m assuming is Mac’s room with the pink flower door, past a decently sized bathroom and to the end of the hallway.
The door is already open, so Hattie pulls me in, and I take in the soft, comforting room. This roomisCassidy. With its light colors of creams, blues, and greens, picture frames lining the tall oak dresser, the simplicity of a lone jewelry box and bottle of perfume. Cassidy, like Hattie actually, was light and sweetness.Such a brutal loss to this family, to this world, to lose someone with so much goodness to give.Makes me wonder if there was a way to epitomize her in a song somehow.
The closet door is open, and clothes are separated into piles. “Looks like you’ve done some work,” I say.
“Yes, I have a pile of clothes Aubree has to go through, I set aside a few items for myself, and then that pile over there, the big one, is all donation. Aubree and I set aside a few key pieces for Mac when she gets older, but we’re pretty much done with the clothes.”
“How do you feel about it?” I ask her, understanding that this could be a really tough thing to do.
“Okay. I’ve had my moments here and there, but I think this needs to happen. Ryland’s been sleeping on the couch downstairs in the living room ever since Cassidy passed. I can’t imagine that being comfortable. He keeps his clothes in the downstairs closet. He’s just occupying the space, but this is his home now. I think he deserves a space of his own and hope it will help him settle somehow, if that makes sense.”
“It does,” I say. “He had a house, right?”
Hattie nods. “It was closer to the high school, but he didn’t feel right pulling Mac from the house she knows. He wanted to keep things as normal for her as possible. Although, it was bigger than the farmhouse and it didn’t smell like potatoes.”
I chuckle. “I kind of like the smell.”
“I could do without it.” She picks up a large potato sack and hands it to me. “Help me put the clothes in this.”
“Did you wash this?” I ask as I look into it.
“Yes, of course. I’m not about to donate a bunch of potato-smelling clothes.”
“Just checking.” I hold it open for her and she starts gently placing Cassidy’s clothes in it. She falls silent and just to make sure she’s okay, I say, “Hey, you good?”
She glances up at me, tears in her eyes as she nods. “Yes. This is good.”
“Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
“Yes. It’s just sad is all. But this needs to be done, and I know Aubree and Ryland aren’t going to do it. I think this project was meant for me.”
“I think so too,” I say as she places the last of the one pile in the sack. “Want me to place this in the hallway?”
“That would be great.”
I move the sack of clothes in the hallway, and when I’m back in the bedroom, I find Hattie working on another stack, but I stop her and take a seat on the bed. I pull her on top of my lap and brush a loose strand of hair out of her face when she looks up at me.
“What are you doing?” she asks.
“Letting you know that you don’t have to go through this alone, that I’m here for you. For anything you need. Even if it’s just a hug.”
A small smile tugs on the corner of her mouth. “God, what Cassidy would think if she saw this. You holding me, in her room . . . I don’t think she’d believe it.” She leans in and presses a kiss to my lips, more for comfort than anything. “And thank you. I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me too.” I connect her hand with mine and say, “You know, before everything went down with Ryland, Cassidy and I were good friends. It was Ryland, Abel, Cassidy, and me. We all hung out together. She’d tag along, and we didn’t mind at all. So honestly, I think she’d be happy about this, about you and me, at least, that would be my hope.”
Hattie’s eyes soften. “I think you’re right. She would. She did suggest you be my friend in her letter to you.” Hattie places her hand on my cheek, and she leans in, lightly kissing me. When she pulls away, she says, “Okay, let’s get this place cleared out. I want to get everything ready so I can paint and set up to surprise Ryland tomorrow.”
“Tell me what to do. I’m yours.”
She hops off my lap. “First, take your shirt off. I prefer to look at my hired help with no clothes on.”
I chuckle and shake my head. “Nice try. I’m not taking anything off. It will only distract you and to hell if I’m doing this alone.”
“It was worth a try.”
I scoop her around her waist and bring her back to my chest. Speaking close to her ear, I say, “Maybe later, though.”
“Something to look forward to.”
