Page 78 of Bourbon Truths
“Yeah,” I said, not knowing what else to say.
Madeline threw her little arms at the bag with horrible form, and I knew I had to correct her so she didn’t hurt herself, but my feet were cemented in place, permitting me from moving forward.
“You all right?” Jett asked, knowing me too well.
“No,” I answered honestly. “I’m not fucking all right.”
Jett leaned closer. “Want to talk outside?”
“Can’t. Teaching a class.”
“Are you really? Because it looks like you’re standing here in absolute—”
“Madeline, stay on your own bag,” Linda called, interrupting Jett. Madeline was running around punching all the bags in the area, causing a fucking adorable ruckus.
Jett swung his gaze to where Madeline and Linda were, assessed the mother-daughter pair, then turned his back on them and got in my face. “Is that…”
I confirmed his suspicions, not letting him finish.
Jett ran his hand over his face and muttered, “Holy shit. What are they doing here?”
“Linda wants Madeline to learn self-defense. She thinks it’s important. Given the way her father died, I don’t blame Linda for forcing her daughter into the class.”
“And you said you were going to help? What the hell were you thinking?”
“What was I supposed to say? ‘Sorry, can’t help you since I’m the one who killed your husband.’ I didn’t have many options, Jett.”
“I guess you didn’t,” he said, turning to look at Madeline. She was leaning against a wall, wiping her forehead with her forearm and catching her breath. “She’s kind of adorable.”
“I fucking know,” I admitted. “What do I do?”
I was at a loss. I had no clue how to handle this situation. I needed a lifeline. I needed someone to tell me how to handle this, because right about now, I couldn’t breathe, let alone figure out how to talk to Madeline.
“Do the right thing,” Jett answered. “Swallow your demons, step up, and teach the girl. What happened in your past was not your fault, but you have a responsibility now to see it through.”
Jett was right. I had a responsibility, and it was to take care of Madeline. If that meant pushing past the bile that rose from the mere thought of forming a bond with this little girl, then I would.
“You’re right,” I said while pushing past Jett and heading over to Madeline, who was still leaning against the wall with her arms at her sides and her head pressed back.
“Hey,” I said while squatting down to her level.
“Hi there, Mr. Kace,” Madeline said, perking up. “These gloves are heavy.”
“Well, they’re the wrong size. I told you they wouldn’t work for you.” She’d insisted on wearing them.
“I just wanted to wear the ones you were wearing when you demonstrated. You looked so tough.”
A numbing tingle started to crawl up my back.I can do this, I repeated over and over in my head.
“To get tough, you have to start from the beginning. How about we take off the gloves and put on the little hand-wraps instead,” I suggested. “Then we can work up to the gloves.”
“Those gloves are black.” She crinkled her nose. “Don’t you have pretty ones?”
I looked over at the hand-wraps and shook my head no. “Sorry, kiddo. I only have black ones right now, but I will see what I can do for you for future classes. How does that sound?”
“All right.” She flashed me that toothless grin, melting me on the spot.
For that smile, I would have given her the fucking world.
