Page 7 of Bourbon Truths
“Kace,” Lyla called, making my entire body go numb.
Why? Why couldn’t she leave me the fuck alone?
I didn’t turn around. I couldn’t. I couldn’t look her in the eyes, the beautiful green eyes that haunted me at night.
“Kace, can I please talk to you?”
No, I thought.
I didn’t want to talk. I just wanted to fuck. I needed to fuck her out of my system. That’s what it was. I just needed one more moment in time with her legs wrapped around me, crying my name in the throes of ecstasy.
That’s what I convinced myself of at least. Well, tried to convince myself.
“I have things to do, Lyla,” I answered.
“Turn around,” she said softly and pulled on my shoulder.
My stomach sank from her tone. I clenched my jaw and willed myself not to turn around and push her up against the wall so I could take what I wanted.
Taking a deep breath, I looked her in the eyes. Her face was full of concern and questions I had no intention of answering.
“What?” I asked, rather rudely, but better to be rude than put my heart on the floor for her to stomp on.
Caught off guard for a second, she searched my eyes. “Can I just talk to you for a second?”
“Sure, talk.” I gestured for her to continue.
Gaining courage, she said, “I want to apologize for last night. I wasn’t very nice to you at all, and I shouldn’t have been throwing myself at other guys while you were there.”
Last night, another way our paths had crossed. Our lives were tangled together because our best friends were engaged. It was an unfair circumstance I had to live with.
“I don’t care what you do with other men,” I lied.
In fact, I’d ached last night watching her engage with someone other than myself. Lyla was my crutch, a pleasure I couldn’t allow myself to have. My life was going nowhere. She didn’t need to be sucked into my void. I couldn’t offer her the things she deserved.
She gave me a pointed look. “That’s why you interrupted my conversation with Diego?”
She had me there. Diego was my friend, and I’d taken it upon myself to educate him on my unreasonable expectations when it came to Lyla. Basically I couldn’t be with her, but I didn’t want anyone else to be with her either.
“He’s bad news,” I lied again. Diego was probably one of the most upstanding guys I knew besides Jett. He would never do anything dishonest. The minute he’d found out about my situation with Lyla, he backed off immediately.
“Sure.” A small smile spread across Lyla’s lips, her soft and full lips.
“Is that all?” I asked.
“I just wanted to apologize. I know you’re going through a tough time….”
“What?” I asked, anger starting to boil up inside of me. “Who told you I was going through a tough time?”
“I was talking to the girls, and they were saying something about the summer—”
“Don’t fucking talk to them about me,” I gritted out, interrupting her. Goldie and the Jett Girls loved to gossip and push my buttons. Of course they would talk about me to Lyla. “They know nothing about me, so it’s best you all mind your own fucking business. Got it?” I tried to contain my rage, but it was hard not to get in her face, to startle her enough to leave me alone. She didn’t need to be snooping around in my past. That was the last thing I wanted her to do. She didn’t need to be exposed to my weaknesses.
She took a step away from me, a little shocked from the anger pouring off of me. Guilt ran through me from startling her so much. I didn’t want her to see this side of me, this bitter, hateful man, but I didn’t know how to be any other way. It was rare when I could really be myself and those moments were usually with Jett, who knew my sins, knew the demons I faced every day.
“Why won’t you just talk to me?” she asked.
Rubbing my face with the towel, I tried to stomp out the frustration I felt before I lashed out in a way I knew I would regret later.
