Page 81 of Bourbon Sins
I directed her to a bench against the front of the boat.
“No one ever sits here, it’s my second favorite spot on the boat and I love sitting here on the way back.”
“How many times do you take the ride?”
I shrug my shoulders, “At least once a month. I come here to clear my head, among other places.”
“Never thought of you as the tourist type,” she teased
I laughed and said, “Tourists are the bane of my existence. I love my city, but I wish it wasn’t such a destination hotspot.”
“I get that,” she said, as I pulled her down on my lap, making sure all the M&M’s were on the bench next to us. She leaned back into my chest and I reveled in the way her bare neck was exposed to my lips. Softly, I placed gentle kisses along the column of her neck and delighted in the sweet taste of her skin.
There was a voice in the back of my head screaming, “What the hell are you doing?” But I ignored it. I knew I was breaking every damn rule I ever set, but I couldn’t help it. Goldie was intoxicating and I needed more of her; I craved more of her.
“If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?” I linked my fingers with hers and rubbed the tops of her knuckles, an endearing touch I seemed to be doing often when it came to her.
“Money doesn’t matter?” she asked. I nodded and she continued, “I feel like this is going to sound so pedestrian to someone like you, who has been everywhere I’m sure, but I would love to go to a place like Tahiti where the water is crystal clear and you can stay in huts that hover over the water. It looks so serene, so withdrawn, that I would love to lose myself there. But that would never happen, since I don’t have the money, let alone a passport.”
“You don’t have a passport?” I asked, with a little more shock than I should have allowed into my voice.
She shook her head and said, “No, never had a reason to get one.”
“Well, we’re going to have to change that.” I wrapped my arm tighter around her waist and placed a soft kiss on her shoulder.
“Where would you go?” she asked.
Knowing I had the most cheese-dick answer ever, I contemplated answering her but when she sighed into my shoulder, I knew I could trust the charming, yet foul-mouthed girl that rested in my arms.
“I would visit wherever my mom is.”
“You don’t know where your mom is?” Goldie asked, her voice full of sadness.
“She passed away awhile back from AIDS.”
“Oh Jett, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s a story I would rather not get into, but if I had a chance, I would visit her, just for an hour longer.”
Why did I bring up such a dark subject? Fuck, I was losing my mind. I had a girl resting on my lap as I embraced her and was talking about my mom, of all people. I didn’t do shit like this. I didn’t talk to women, not after Natasha left me. I became numb to the world, but the minute Goldie walked into my life, I found myself throwing all my ideals into the wind, acting like a fucking pussy talking about my feelings and reveling in a woman’s touch. What the hell?
She must have noticed the tension rolling through my body because she turned on my lap so she straddled me and looked down into my eyes.
“We don’t have to talk about it. We don’t have to talk about anything.”
“What do you want from me?” I asked, not even thinking what her reaction might be.
Her body retracted from mine as she instantly left my lap and sat down on the bench. “Goldie, I didn’t mean it like that.” It was the first time I had called her by her real name, and she noticed.
“I . . . I don’t want anything from you, Jett. I’m sorry if it seems like I do. I just find it rude to refuse when someone is so kindly offering—”
I cut her off and placed her back on my lap. “That’s not what I meant.”
What did I mean? She searched my eyes as she looked for answers I didn’t have. I had no clue what was going on with me, but all I knew was I had a myriad of emotions running through my body that I had no handle on.
“Maybe we should just go back to the house after this,” she said, looking at her lap.
“Is that what you want?” I asked. I silently hoped it wasn’t what she wanted. I wanted more time with her, even if it was spent in silence. There was something eerily comforting about just being in her presence. She was a breath of fresh air, a ray of sunshine in the dark that encompassed my life.
