Page 17 of Bourbon Sins
“Try”
GOLDIE
I sat in front of my family’s mausoleum in the Lafayette Cemetery as I sketched the front of it for the hundredth time. It was the one thing I could sketch with my charcoals without having to look at my inspiration. The image was permanently ingrained in my head. Coming here was my one escape; it was my getaway and my sanctuary.
Pink blared through my ear buds as I tried to pick myself up from the disappointing meeting I had with that crazy at Café Pontalba. When I first saw him, I actually thought that there might be a change in my life, but after he told me all about submitting to a freak, I wanted nothing to do with it. I wasn’t into bondage and all that . . . well, maybe that was a lie. I was into kink; I was pretty much into anything sexual because I couldn’t deny the fact that I loved having orgasms. God, I loved them.
What creeped me out was that I was supposed to submit to someone I’d never even met before. I was all about mystery, but when you have to send someone to do your dirty work, it just told me there was something wrong . . . something they were hiding.
Still, the idea that I would be taken care of kept ringing through my head, alongside a nagging voice in the back of my mind telling me I was making a huge mistake by turning him down.
My hand ran across the lettering of my parents’ names as I tried to connect with them.
“I’m so tired,” I said, out loud to them. “I’m tired and I don’t know how much more of this life I can take. I have no more hope and I feel like I keep getting beat down just when I feel like life is picking back up.”
Tears built up behind my eyes as I wished in my heart that my parents were still alive.
“I’m sorry, I know I’ve probably disappointed you. I know you see what I do every day, but you guys left me with nothing else. I had no choice. I had nothing else to turn to.”
I swiped a tear away before it could catch on my drawing and ruin the charcoal image.
“There is this new opportunity for me to become a Jett Girl. It sounds really sketchy, almost too good to be true. I love New Orleans, but it’s hard to trust anyone around here when it comes to selling your body. I guess it’s like that in all cities, right? Selling your body isn’t the most reliable source of income either, so I guess any offer would be skeezy.”
“I wish you guys were here so you could tell me what to do. I really need your guidance. In my heart, I know you guys wouldn’t approve of what I’m doing and you definitely wouldn’t approve of me submitting my body to a man to get rid of my debt, not your little Goldie.”
I placed my head in my hands as I said, “I just don’t know what to fucking do.” Pink continued to run through my ears, telling me not to give up, but in my heart I was. At that moment, I wished Hurricane Katrina took me with my parents, because it would be so much easier than my life right now.
Knowing it was getting late and I still had to ride the trolley back to the French Quarter, I glanced at the time and realized if I wanted to drop my cash off at the bank, I had to get going or else I was going to be late for work.
I placed my hand on the cold slate of their memorial while silently apologizing for disappointing them. I gathered my art supplies, stuffed them in my bag, and walked toward the trolley stop on St. Charles Avenue. I held my phone as I continued to play music to try to brighten my spirits and distract me from the disturbing and disappointing day I was having, but nothing was working. My life was a pile of shit . . . no, a fly that ate the pile of shit . . . no, the puke the fly threw up after eating the pile of shit . . . that was my life.
As I turned out of the cemetery, I tripped over the root of one of the giant, Medusa-like trees that were a staple in the Garden District. I caught my balance right before my face ate cement. I laughed nervously and hoped no one saw my failed attempt at covering up my obvious trip.
Noticing no one around, I was off the hook when out of nowhere, I was slammed up against the outer wall of the cemetery by what I could only think was a freight train. One minute I was giggling to myself at what a klutz I was and the next minute I was being breathed on by a man twice my size.
He growled in my ear, “Give me your purse and we’ll have no problems.”
Thoughts of the enormous deposit sitting in my purse from the last couple of days of work ran through my head. There was no way I could give him my purse; I would never make up that money. Trying to think of any way out of this, I rubbed my ass up against his crotch.
“I’ll give you something else. Anything you want, you name it. I’m yours.”
The thought of putting out in order to save my money made bile rise to my throat, but from the strength of the man behind me I quickly realized I wasn’t getting out of this situation anytime soon.
“I don’t want your pussy. I want your bag.”
Holding on tight to my bag, I breathed into the wall as my cheek pressed against the old rock and said, “I know how to suck a cock and can make you come for days. Just give me a chance and I will make you a very happy man.”
“I’m not a dumbass, lady. I know the minute you get your mouth around my cock you’re going to bite the shit out of it. Give me your fucking purse or I’m going to have to take care of matters with my little friend here . . . the switch blade.”
He pressed a cold blade against the back of my neck, making me freeze in place. Alright, so my cock-sucking abilities were not going to save me right now. All I had left was begging.
“Please, don’t do this.” Fear crept into my voice, waving off all the confidence I once had.
He pressed the blade into my skin a little more and I swore he must have punctured the skin on the back of my neck.
“Alright,” I cried, as I handed over my purse, well, handed it behind me.
He grabbed my purse, pressed me further into the wall, and then took off. I didn’t even bother to turn around. I just fell to the ground, buried my head in my hands and knees, and cried. I was completely done for. There’s feeling low and then there was the level I was at . . . hopeless. I was barely going to be able pay my bills this month and now, with my stash gone, I was fucked.
