Page 105 of Bourbon Sins
I felt my jaw clench down at Kace’s low blow. Instead of becoming more violent, I turned around and said, “Get out. Make sure she gets home safely, wherever that is.”
“So that’s it, you’re just going to let her go because you’re too damn stubborn to let yourself see what you have together?”
“And what is that exactly?” I asked, as I turned around to face him.
“Fuck if I know, but what I do know is that you’re a different man when she’s around. You care for her and if you care for her, then why the hell are you going to let her walk away, especially walk to Rex? You know he won’t treat her well. He’ll only wind up using her until he’s done and then toss her away like every other woman who’s graced his sorry dick.”
I didn’t answer Kace. I just looked at the ground, trying not to push the man out of my office with all the pent-up force in my body.
“What did you say to her that made her storm out of here and straight to her room?”
“It’s none of your damn business.”
“Fuck, man, when are you going to realize that for some unknown reason, I care about you? That I actually do give a fuck what happens to you? You can be such a stubborn ass sometimes. Fuck!” Kace dragged out as his hands ran through his hair and he turned around, unable to look at me.
Blowing out a frustrated breath, I spoke up, “I can’t give her what she wants. I told her I didn’t want her here, and I didn’t deny her claim that I brought her here to get back at Rex.”
Kace spun around and looked me dead in the eyes. His arms dropped to his sides as he tried to figure out what was wrong with me.
“Dude, I know I gave you a hard time at first for bringing her here for all the wrong reasons, but that was until I heard the real reason. Why didn’t you tell her about the cemetery?”
“I fucking did!” My temper rose. “I fucking told her in the cemetery, but then she went off to talk to Rex and . . . I just lost it when she questioned me and believed him. If she wasn’t going to believe me then, she sure as hell wasn’t going to believe me now, after she spoke to Rex. It’s just better this way.”
“Better for you or better for her? Because, from where I stand, you’re a narcissistic ass who is pushing away an amazing girl because she broke your walls down. Sheactuallymade you question your life, and gave you a little glimpse of real happiness. She scared you, and instead being the man she needs you hung your balls up for life and refused to give her the chance she deserves. Give yourself a chance to be happy. She was doing well here, Jett. She was harmonizing well with the girls, she was a member favorite, and she was actually getting her shit together. Now that you’re sending her away, what does that mean for her future? She doesn’t have enough money to do anything. It’ll last her a couple of months, but what does she do after that? Go back to Kitten’s Castle? Get paid for sex and hope to make her payments every month? You can’t fucking do that to her, not because she fell for you, because she actually turned you into a human again. She doesn’t deserve that kind of treatment and, to be honest, it goes against everything you believe in when it comes to the Lafayette Club. Yes, you might not want a relationship, but you can’t turn her away now, not when she was ready to become a Jett Girl. You owe her more than that.” Kace looked me in the eyes and said, “Don’t be a pathetic excuse for a man who only thinks of himself. Strap your sorry-ass balls back on and take charge before she goes and does something completely stupid, like marrying Rex Titan.”
Pain seared through my skin as the thought of Goldie marrying Rex became a possible reality in my head. That could not happen. Kace was right, I was being a narcissist. I was so wrapped up in protecting myself that I forgot I wasn’t protecting Goldie, like I promised.
“Fuck!” I shouted, as I passed by Kace and headed toward my bedroom to grab a box that I should have passed along a long time ago. I didn’t need Goldie making me feel, making me want more than I’m ready for, but hell if I was going to push her toward a life full of misery. She was better than that. She had potential and, when I first saw her, I swore to myself and to my mom that I was going to help her fulfill that potential.
Chapter Forty-Three
“Stay”
GOLDIE / LO
I didn’t know how long I’d been crying, but I knew it was a long time because, by the time I peeled my tear-soaked face off my pillow, it was completely dark outside and I could barely open my eyes, they were so swollen. I knew I had to get going, that I had to leave before I was actually kicked out, but leaving the warm confines of the bedroom Jett so beautifully put together for me was heart-shattering. Even though I was confused as to who to believe, my heart still ripped apart from being torn away from Jett. The man did so much for me, even though he ended our “partnership” brashly and with little remorse. He still changed me, made me feel whole again, he made me love again.
I walked to the bathroom and wet a wash cloth with warm water to press against my eyes. I didn’t want to look too scary when I returned back to Lyla’s. She was more than happy to have me stay with her, but I was going to have to sleep on the couch, since Crystal with the massively large tits that scared the hell out of me, now occupied my old room. She didn’t question me on the phone, but the tone in her voice said we were going to have a very long conversation once I got back to her place.
I put down the wash cloth and stared at myself one last time in the perfectly lit bathroom. I had the same clothes on that I’d arrived in, sans underwear, since I wasn’t allowed to keep the “cheap polyester.” Stupid man. I grabbed the pillowcase full of my measly items, took a deep breath, and turned to walk to the door.
My heart lurched in my chest as I saw Jett standing in the doorway holding a flat medium-sized box. He was still in his unbuttoned business shirt and pants, but instead of his normal, put-together exterior, there was blood on his now-wrinkled shirt and when I looked up at his face, his mouth was completely swollen and bloody.
I sucked in a gasp of air at his disheveled appearance. The only thought I had was that he and Kace had to have gotten into it, because I’d spoken to Kace about an hour ago about driving me back to the French Quarter. He wasn’t happy and stormed off without muttering a word.
The urge to run to Jett and see if he was okay was overpowering, but I didn’t. Instead, I stood in place and waited for him to make the first move. My heart pounded through my chest as he slowly closed the door and walked toward me. At that moment, seeing the usually strong and stoic man looking run down—almost desperate—broke the wall I was stubbornly holding up. Why was I even thinking about walking away from this man? Why did I even question him in the first place? Maybe because I was desperate for him to confess any kind of feeling he had for me; I wanted to hear that he actually cared about me. Just a little reassurance that he needed me insomeway would have settled my urge to run, my need to go see Rex, but instead, he just kept pushing me away, and I didn’t know why.
Jett placed the box in his hand on my bed and stood a few feet away from me. He looked down at my shabby clothes and winced at my appearance.
He exhaled as he ran a hand through his untamed hair and made eye contact with me as his hand slid from his hair to the back of his neck. “Goldie,” his voice was raspy as he spoke, “I uh, I don’t want you to leave . . . at all.”
His words caught me off-guard. In the back of my mind, where my inner teenage girl lived—a girl who fancied unicorns and believed in romance—I wished that when he showed up he was going to sweep me off my feet and carry me into the sunset, but I knew that was far from reality. This was Jett Colby, the man who showed no fear, no emotions, and no need for anyone but himself. So you could imagine the way his confession affected me.
“Why?” I said feebly, not able to look him in his deep blue eyes because I knew, if I did, I would crumple into his arms.
“I want you here. You belong here, and I don’t want to see you anywhere else or hear about you in anyone else’s bed. You are meant to be a Jett Girl.”
“But why did you pick me?” I asked once again, just dying for an honest response.
