Page 53 of Bourbon Deceit
“No, not at all. I don’t know why I said that.” I backpedaled.
“I care about you, Goldie. I respect the fact that you need a break, that you can’t have sex with me every night. I get that, so please don’t assume that I care about one thing and one thing only, because that is not how I want to be perceived.”
He talked to me so business-like, it was strange. I didn’t like it.
“I’m sorry. I don’t see you like that. I’m just nervous that if I don’t have sex with you, you’re going to lose interest.”
Where the hell did that come from? Was I trying to dig myself a grave? It was true, but I didn’t have to go and say it.
His hand went up to my cheek and he pressed his forehead against mine.
“I’m going to be honest with you, little one. When I first met you, when I first saw you, that was all I wanted from you. I wanted your body, but once I saw you for who you were, I wanted more. I want your body, your heart, and your soul. I want everything. Just because you don’t want sex one night doesn’t mean I’ll get bored, it just means that I get another piece of you that night. Like tonight, I want your mind.”
“My mind?”
“Yes, tell me something I don’t know.”
He spun me around so I was pressed against his chest again and his arms were once again wrapped around me. His chin rested on my shoulder as he waited for me to answer him.
Okay, I can give him my mind.
“Well, when I was young, I used to bring my mom’s boom box into my room and I would pretend to have my own radio station. I would speak into the attachable microphone and call off what songs were going to play next. I would also pretend to interview people using different voices then I recorded it all on a tape cassette.”
I could feel the smile that crossed Jett’s face from my confession.
“Fuck, you’re so cute,” he said while pressing a kiss below my ear. “That turns this black heart a little more pure, hearing things like that.”
“You don’t have a black heart, Jett. You have such a warm heart, it’s just a little scratched right now, but it can get better. If you let me help you, I would love to help heal it.”
Breathing deeply, he said, “I would like that, little one.”
My heart tripled in speed as he wrapped around me tighter and held on to me. At that moment, if he let go then I would float away forever. His lips pressed against my ear and he spoke softly.
“I’m getting lost in you Goldie and it terrifies me. You broke down a wall that I wasn’t willing to let go of, and you did it so easily.” He took a deep breath and continued, still speaking softly. “I can’t stand the idea of losing you now.”
“You’re not going to.” I turned my head to look at him but he kept my head forward.
“I want you to know that I would do anything to keep you safe, to keep you out of trouble. I live in a world where anything can happen and I want you to know that no matter what, I will always protect you. Always.”
His cryptic message was slightly disturbing, because it sounded like something you said before you broke up with someone, but I chose to ignore that. There was no way he was going to break up with me because of the way he clung on to me right now, the way he spoke softly into my ear and sent shivers up my spine. He was opening up, and it wasn’t very often that he did that.
“You’re always doing the protecting, do you ever let anyone protect you?” I asked as I leaned back farther into his chest and looked up at him.
He kissed my lips and said, “Yes, right now, I’m letting you protect my fragile heart. All I ask is that you take care of it, little one.”
His confession knocked the wind out of me. He’d trusted me enough to admit such a sensitive thing to me, and I didn’t even know how to respond. I would never do anything to hurt Jett, ever. He saved me when I needed saving, he took care of me when no one else would, and he gave me the warm affection that I needed so desperately in my life. If anything happened between us, it was going to be his doing, because I wasn’t going anywhere.
“I will treat it as if it’s my own, Jett.”
“That’s all I can ask for.”
He kissed me again, and we spent the rest of the night holding each other and enjoying the soft silence that settled between us. We didn’t have to talk anymore, we understood each other.
Chapter Eighteen
“Grenade”
JETT
