Page 86 of The Downside of Love

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“And after that? Did you still have feelings?”

I tug on a strand of her hair, looking back and forth between her eyes, knowing this is the moment where I let everything out. “Every goddamned day. And at the moment, I wasn’t sure you and Colby were going to be anything, so I offered my help to get in touch with Colby because to me, it was just another day I got to see you, another time I got to hear your voice. I couldn’t have you, but what I did have were little stolen moments with the woman I loved.”

“Stryder,” she says on a whisper and a shake of her head. “But . . . you never . . . why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because, you were with my best friend, and just because I loved every inch of you, didn’t mean I had to try destroy what you had with Colby. I loved your from afar, and even though it was fucking painful, it was all I could have.”

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She shifts on top of my body, as I smooth my hand around her neck, her pulse rocketing into my palm. Her eyes are jumping back and forth, her mind clearly thinking a mile a minute, scaring me.

“What are you thinking?”

“I’m just, I’m recounting every interaction I ever had with you.” She smooths her hands over my face, caressing my cheeks. “Colby’s birthday, New Year’s Eve, bowling . . . skydiving. You loved me? You loved me then too?”

“Bowling, fuck yes, I wanted to be near you. The letters you sent to Colby, I so desperately wanted to pretend they were for me. Helping you with Colby’s birthday? I did it because I was able to spend a few moments alone with you. I was able to have all your attention, and even though it was for a few minutes, it was worth it to me. It eased the ache in my chest. And when we went skydiving,” I shake my head. “I was on the verge of walking out of there. I had no idea how was I going to be around you and not touch you. But then I saw the fear in your eyes, and I knew that even if I wasn’t the one who could hold you and care for you, at least I could be there.”

Her mouth falls open as I watch the wheels in her head turn, connecting all the dots.

I press my fingers through her hair, pulling her a little closer. “I was the guy behind the scenes, wanting you so goddamned bad, but stepping aside so you could be happy. I saw the way you looked at him, the way you wanted him, and to hell if I was going to get in the way of your happiness, even if it tortured me.”

She’s quiet, thinking, making me question everything I just confessed as a lonely tear slips past her beautiful eye and down her cheek. I quickly wipe it away. “Baby, don’t cry.”

She shakes her head and leans in even closer, pressing her forehead against mine, gripping my cheek tightly as she speaks. “You love me.”

“More than anything, Rory. You’re my life.” I lightly kiss her, lending my lips to her, which she takes, entwining both her hands into my hair, gripping tightly.

Lifting her mouth from mine, she says on a whisper, “I loveyou, Stryder.”

She loves me.

Her confession rolls over me, seeping into my bones, molding and morphing me into a different man. I can feel it, the way her words change me, right then and there.

Love.

An emotion I’ve never truly experienced until she came along. I’ve heard about it, I’ve watched it happen in front of me, I’ve read about it, but never once experienced it. Nor have I experienced the reciprocation of love.

And yet, here I am, lying in bed with the only woman I’ve ever truly cared about, nothing between us beside our beating hearts, and she’s confessing her love for me.

I could die a happy fucking man right now.