Page 58 of The Downside of Love
He what?
I mean, I know we’ve joked about having shared custody of Stryder and I know that he’s stayed at my place the past week to help me after surgery, but I just figured after what happened tonight, maybe he’d stay longer.
Maybe I read the entire situation completely wrong.
“Unless you need me to stay and help you?” he quickly asks.
“Oh, uh, no, I’m good,” I answer awkwardly.
“You sure?”
“Yup.” I nod, even though I’m sure he’s not looking at me.
I don’t want him to leave, to go stay with Ryan. I don’t want to wonder what they’re doing, what kind of funthey’rehaving, if they’re talking about me.Have I been bugging him? Crowding him in ways he hates? Does he want to get away from me?
My throat starts to grow tight, my emotions running a mile a minute, my anxiety growing.
The need to cry hits me hard for some godforsaken reason, square in the chest, tears prickling at my eyes.
Don’t cry, Rory, for the love of God, don’t cry. Not with him here, not where he can hear you, because when he asks what’s wrong, there’ll be no answer.
Because I don’t know why I’m on the verge of tears, why I’m so beyond emotional right now.
Maybe this time apart will be good. I can gather myself, get back toregularRory. Because this heightened-senses Rory, the one that notices every little thing about Stryder, from the way he playfully winks, or the smirk he wears when he’s joking, or the way his large hand feels holding mine? She needs to be excused from the situation.
He’s making things way too complicated and hard. I’m starting to think of Stryder as someone he isn’t.Mine.
Chapter Seventeen
STRYDER
Idrop down on the couch and take a deep breath.
I might have bras and thongs hanging all around the apartment, and I might have nearly put my hand in a bowl of old popcorn on the couch when I sat down, but for the first time in over a week, I can actually breathe.
There was no doubt in my mind that after the concert in the park, I needed to get the hell away from Rory, and not because I wanted to, but because Ineededto.
I crossed a line, a noticeable one.
And I think she could sense it.
The music, the fucking night with the stars above us, her warm body pressed into mine. I was inches away from kissing her, from tilting her head back and fusing her lips with mine. I was bordering dangerous territories, and when we were driving in the car on the way to the apartment, all I could think about while Rory was gushing about the concert was what Colby might say. If he saw us tonight withmycheek pressed against hers,myarms protectively wrapped around her,myhand holding her hand, fingers entwined . . . I know if the shoe were on the other foot, I’d be pissed.
That’s why I sent a text to Ryan letting her know I would be back at her place for the next week, telling her I wanted to give Rory some space.
Thankfully, she was okay with that.
And the last two nights, I’ve been able to get my head on straight because Ryan has been at Brad’s place. Not my favorite choice for her, but to hell if I’m going to say anything since she’s letting me stay at her place.
Who knows, maybe he’s not the douche I really think he is.
Kicking my feet up on the coffee table, I lean back on the couch and switch on the TV, turning to the Rockies game. My boys have been playing well this year, with hopes of the post-season in their future.
I scoot the popcorn bowl Ryan left on the couch to the coffee table so I don’t knock it over, and spread my arm over the back of the couch. What I wouldn’t give to take my shirt off right now, but I would never do that with Ryan. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind, but it wouldn’t feel right. Hell, I shouldn’t even take my shirt off around Rory, but I can’t help that. I fucking love the way she looks at me when I’m shirtless around her. It’s like she’s trying to memorize each and every contour of my body.
It’s sexy as fuck.
It’s another reason why I’ve lost complete control over the situation, and why I’m watching the Rockies game at Ryan’s apartment next to a stale bowl of popcorn rather than sitting at Rory’s dining room table, asking her about her day.
