Page 26 of The Downside of Love
She nods. “Yeah, she’s been working herself silly, taking on more than she should. I don’t think she took the breakup with Colby well.” I lean a little more forward, edging toward Ryan, wanting to know the ins and outs of what she thinks about this. “I think she’s trying to distract herself so she doesn’t have to think about him. But she’s lost weight, she looks more pale than usual, and I really fear she’s overworking herself.”
I could see that. If I was in a relationship with Rory andwebroke up, I’d do the same thing. Work myself crazy and then end my day in a bar, trying to forget. Hell, that’s where I was a few days ago, trying to forget. And now I’m here, eating a frozen pizza, sucking in nail polish fumes, and watching Ryan Reynolds parade himself around in Alaska. Funny how things change.
“Have you talked to her?” I ask, feeling awkward, because I’m not really good at this talking shit. My family wastoldhow to feel, that was it. No feelings discussed. Period. And when I was accepted into the Academy, there was no time for feelings. The closest I ever got to talking about this kind of shit was with Colby, and I never had anything to say.
Advice doesn’t come easily to me. I steer people away from what I think they should do, because taking my advice would most likely get them in trouble.
“I haven’t,” Ryan answers, pulling me back into the conversation. “There hasn’t been a good time to talk to her because she’s constantly on the move, and when we’re together, all she wants to do is decompress, have fun, let loose. The last thing she wants to do is have a post mortem of her relationship with Colby.”
“That makes sense.”
See, not good at this kind of crap.
“But I don’t think she is giving herself any time to breathe, especially with all the responsibilities she’s taken on with Special Olympics. It’s amazing that she’s doing it, but I think she needs to do something for her, separate from her brother.” Turning, she levels with me. “That’s where I hope you’ll come in.”
Err.“What?”
“She has a light work schedule this weekend, no massage clients, only some workout classes in the morning. Since you’re staying with her, make sure she has fun.”
“Yeah, no.”
“Why not?” she asks looking offended.
Yeah, why not, Stryder?
Hmm . . . probably best I don’t share my deepest and dirtiest thoughts about Rory at this point.
Instead, I say, “Colby would probably take it the wrong way.”
And that’s also the truth. I know he must have caught me staring at her a few times, so there is no way he was completely blind to my feelings. Or maybe he was. We never talked about it.
Ryan makes awho gives a fucknoise. “Sorry to inform you, Stryder, but I’m pretty sure Colby isn’t coming back and Rory isn’t leaving. I don’t think Colby is someone you have to worry about getting the wrong impression. You’re friends with Rory, I don’t think it would be an issue at all.”
Of course she wouldn’t, because she doesn’t see my inner turmoil, she doesn’t know the kind of impact it would have on me.
Then again, why the hell am I having a war with myself over this?
Alone time with Rory. It’s what I want; it’s what I crave.
But the only problem with is that I don’t think I would ever act on it.
Because even though I’m jealous of Colby and where his future is heading, he’s been like a brother to me. We were there for each other through thick and thin, acting as each other’s support system. And there will be a day when Colby returns to the Springs—even if it’s to see his gramps—and I don’t want him to believe I would betray him.
He’s too important to me to hurt like that.
“Come on.” Ryan nudges me with her foot. “At least go see a movie or something like that. I’m sure it will keep you busy too. Instead of getting lost in a bottle, maybe you can chow down on endless popcorn. That’s good old-fashioned fun right there.”
“Is that what you plan on doing with your date this weekend?”
“Ha,” she says. “No. I plan on doing some dirty things that don’t involve eating popcorn.” She looks at the ends of her hair and sneers. “Which reminds me, part of my primping is going to the salon. I’m dying my hair brown tomorrow.”
“Brown? Really?”
She smiles and caps her nail polish. “Yup. I’ve been blonde for far too long, time to switch it up. Don’t worry, you’ll still be able to tell me and Rory apart.” She tips my chin playfully. “I’m the one who doesn’t wear a bra around the house.”
And I am grateful for that.
Chapter Eight
