Page 19 of The Downside of Love
A month into flight school and I’m starting to get the hang of things. I’m not the slowest to adjust, but I’m not at the top either, where I want to be. I didn’t think flying a T-53 at the Academy and moving to a T-6 was going to be a huge adjustment, but it is. The plane is bigger, more powerful and for some reason, I feel shaky in the sky. Not the usual cool and calm airman.
I don’t know, I have a lot on my brain.
When I graduated, I expected to stay in touch with my friends more. Hardie and Joey are at a different base, Stryder hasn’t spoken to me since graduation (I worry about him), and I have yet to hear from you.
If it wasn’t for the guys here I’m dorming with, I might feel more lost.
But we’re all in this together.
I would have thought it would be competitive, but it’s not. Everyone is supportive. Besides the few ribs here and there, we get along, just like at the Academy, and I think it’s because we’re in this for a greater good. It’s not just for us, but for our country.
Fuck, that sounded corny above, but honestly, I don’t know what to say to you right now. I’m frustrated and mad at you, when I know I shouldn’t be. I wish you would answer me, at least let me know that you’re okay. I worry about you. I’m sure that won’t change your mind though, knowing I’m desperate to know how you are.
You’re set in your ways, and I know from the time we were together that when you set your mind to something, you won’t be deterred.
And oddly, I have to respect that, even though it’s killing me now.
Just know, even though you don’t respond, I still love you and think about you every damn day.
Colby
My arm falls to the side, still clutching the letter, as tears prick the corners of my eyes, ready to spill over in grief.
I hate that I’m hurting him by not writing back, but I know deep down it’s for the best.
We need a clean break. It’s the only way it will work.For him. He deserves more than average. He deserves the world. And I’m not part of that world.
I must hold strong.
Leaning over, I pull the shoebox from under my bed and place the letter on top of the other ones I’ve kept, not giving it another glance.Please, Colby. Please keep looking to the skies. Please understand I did this so you will succeed. Please.
Chapter Five
STRYDER
Eight years ago . . .
“What the hell are you wearing?”
I stop in my tracks and look at my jeans and plain gray T-shirt. Looking back at my dad, I say, “Uh, clothes. What are you wearing?”
My dad is decked out in his dress blues, hair shaved closely to his head, his speckled gray hair barely visible in his flattop.
“The ALO is going to be here in ten minutes,” he barks.
ALO . . . oh, Christ.
Admission Liaison Officer.
Dad has been chomping at the bit to have one come to the house to prepare me for my “road to the Air Force,” a road I don’t even want to fucking take.
But it’s “in my blood.”Every Sheppard man joins the Air Force.
From the ripe age of ten, we are prepped and molded into airmen, forced to recite the traditions, to know every aircraft ever flown, to show the same respect and loyalty that would be dragged out of us while serving.
We are hand-fed everything that deals with the Air Force.
We breathe it.
