Page 109 of The Downside of Love
The time Stryder and I got drunk during our first Christmas break. The time we slung grapes at his dad’s car window—fuck, did we get in trouble for that. All the games we played with Hardie and Joey in the small space. The moments I shared with Rory . . .
Taking a deep breath, I move forward. It’s time to fix what’s broken.
The door is unlocked when I twist it open. The light on the nightstand is the only thing illuminating the dark space, making it hard to pinpoint where Stryder is. I know he’s here. I saw his car out front and there’s no way in hell he’s inside his parents’ house.
There are clothes strewn about, empty bottles of beer and scotch scattered across the floor, the bed is disheveled, and a chair and a table are flipped over.
Fuck.
Peering around the bed, my eyes land on a dark figure leaning against the wall, a bottle in hand. Jesus Christ, he looks like shit. His eyes are hollow, hair a goddamn mess, and his five o’clock shadow makes him look sinister in the dark.
Two questions roll around in my head: Did he have the day off, and how long has he been drinking?
“Stryder?”
He doesn’t look up at me. Instead he brings the bottle to his lips and takes a long pull. “You found me. Run into my dad?”
Walking over to him, I take the bottle from his hand and take it to the bathroom where I tip it down the sink. Stryder flops himself on the bed, back to the mattress, staring at the ceiling.
Once the bottle is empty, I toss it into the recycling bin and make my way back into the main room. “Yeah, ran into your dad. He’s a fucking ass.”
Stryder chuckles. “Yeah, I established that fifteen years ago.” He pauses before saying, “What are you doing here, Colby? I’m not with Rory anymore if that’s what you’re wondering.”
“I know. I talked to her.”
Stryder’s eyes squeeze shut as his lips thin, his chest rising and falling, his fists gripping the sheets beneath him. “You two were better together anyway. I just dragged her down.”
“We’re not together.”
“Give it time. It will happen.” Sitting up, he snags a shirt from the floor and throws it over his head. Grabbing his keys, he slips shoes on his feet and heads to the door.
“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”
“Anywhere but here.”
I jog to him and tear the keys from his hand. “You’ve been drinking. You’re not driving.”
“Afraid something is going to happen to me?”
“Yeah.” My brow pinches together as I grow frustrated. “Fucking sit down so we can talk.”
“There is nothing to say, Colby. I’m sorry I fucked up, that I fell in love with your girl. If I could change it, I would. I know what it did to us. I get that.” He waves his hand around us. “I did this to myself, no one else. I take full responsibility.”
“I should have been there for you,” I yell.
“What?”
“I should have been there for you. You were going through some tough shit and instead of being there, I was too caught up in my pain to realize that you needed me, that you needed someone to believe in you.”
“I’m not a child, Colby. I figured it out on my own.”
“Did you? Because you fucking spiraled, man, and instead of seeing it right away, I allowed it to happen. I should have been there for you like you were there for me when I needed a family. I was too caught up in my own shit to realize you were drowning.”
He’s silent so I push on. “I should have called. I should have done something, anything to show you that you weren’t alone. And I failed as a friend.”
“No, you didn’t. It goes both ways, I failed too.” He swallows hard. “I went behind your back. I should have never gone after Rory.”
“I don’t care about that.” The words fly out of my mouth before I can stop them, surprising the both of us.
