Page 14 of The Downside of Love
Lifting her eyes to mine, the green cutting right through my brick and mortar façade, she says, “Your dad is a dick.”
Well . . . I wasn’t expecting for her to say that.
I wasn’t expecting it so much that it pulls a laugh from the pit of my stomach, a laugh I haven’t heard in months.
“I’m serious, Stryder. He is.”
Still chuckling, I say, “Well, I’m not going to argue with you on that. He is a dick. I’m just surprised you started this conversation with that.”
“Well, isn’t that where all this stems from? Your dad? I can’t imagine what it must feel like to have to live with him on a daily basis.”
“It’s fun,” I say sarcastically while taking a sip of my coffee.
“I’m sure.” Taking a deep breath, she gives Ryan a quick glance, and Ryan nods. “That’s why we’re going to help you out until you find an affordable place here. You can bounce back and forth between Ryan’s place and mine. No offense,” Rory chuckles, “but neither of us thinks we could live with you full-time. So we’re going to switch back and forth. When you’re at my place, you’ll have it to yourself, because I’ll stay with my parents on those days. And when you’re here, you’ll have the couch.”
“Nah, that’s okay.” I shake my head, even though my veins are burning, yearning to know what it would be like to sleep in Rory’s bed. “You girls don’t have to do that. I’ll figure it out.”
Ryan crosses her arms over her chest, ready to lay into me. I can easily tell who’s the good cop and who’s the bad cop in their friendship. “Oh, you’ll figure it out?” Ryan sarcastically gives me a thumbs-up—fucking sassy woman. “Just like you’ve been figuring it out recently, head stuck in a bottle of scotch? That seems smart.”
“Seems to be working.” I smirk, causing both women to growl with anger.
Okay, maybe I underestimated them.
“Stryder, we’re serious.” Rory pins me, those eyes splitting me in half, opening my wounds back up. “From the looks of it, you’re hurting and need help. We care about you, Stryder, and there has to be a reason you called us.”
“I called Ryan, not you, Rory,” I respond, ruffling my hair, looking around for my shirt. I’m not in the mood for this conversation, especially with Rory. I can see in her eyes that she feels bad for me, and I fucking hate that. Out of everyone in this fucking world, she’s the last person I want sympathy from.
I don’t want her to see me as the pathetic loser I feel like. I want her to see me as confident, like I’m on top of my game, but I’m not there. Not even close.
Finding my shirt on the floor next to the couch, I pull it over my head and gather my things, stuffing my phone and wallet in my pockets. “I have to go.”
“Why did you call?” Ryan asks, stopping me on my path out the front door. Her hand presses against my chest. “Why did you call me?”
“Let me by, Ryan.”
She shakes her head. Persistent. “Why did you call?”
“Because I was drunk off my ass.”
Shaking her head again, she nudges me backward. “That’s not why you called. Why did you need our help, Stryder?”
Gritting my teeth together, I see Rory stand to the side, keeping her distance but letting me know she’s still very much involved in this conversation despite the small jab I made at her. “Ryan . . .”
“Just answer the damn question, Stryder.”
“Christ.” I throw my arms in the air and turn away from them both, my hand on my forehead. “Maybe because I have no one else Icouldcall. Maybe because I don’t have any friends left here. Maybe because my family wants nothing to do with me. I’m fucking alone with nothing to live for right now.” I shake my head, the humiliation of the truth choking me, turning my embarrassment into pure mortification. Rory must think I’m such a fucking loser. “You two are the only ones I know who are still in the Springs. Okay?”
Silence falls behind me.
What I wouldn’t give to see their faces right now, to see what they’re thinking.
No, scratch that. I’m almost positive I know what they’re thinking, and if I wasn’t so damn desperate to get out of my parents’ house, I would walk out of this apartment, knowing—and hating—that they both feel sorry for me.
But I can’t.
I need out.
I need the chance to at least catch my breath for a second without the harsh reality beating down on me every day that I am a massive disappointment to my father.Every Sheppard really.
