Page 111 of The Downside of Love
But I don’t care. I lean into his touch, my eyes fluttering shut, my senses soaking in all that is Stryder, committing it to memory.
He doesn’t say anything. He gently caresses my cheek, allowing his touch to soothe my shattered heart. But I need to know why he’s here. I can’t let myself get attached. I can’t allow him to crush me even further, so I pull away.
Staring at the blanket, unable to look him in his soulful eyes, I say, “Why are you here, Stryder? If it’s for your stuff, please just take it and leave. I need you to make this as painless as possible, because I’m not sure how much more I can take.”
He shifts on the bed and my heart sinks to the floor, more tears rising only to fall over onto my cheeks. He’s leaving.
It’s a possibility I knew that could be true, but actually letting it sink in has me wanting to curl up on my bed and block out the sound of him packing up the rest of his things.
I lie back on the bed and pull the covers over my shoulder, unable to watch him move around the apartment one last time. I shudder quietly as I hear him move, the sound of shoes clunking on the floor. Why would he be so cruel to come for his things while I was here?
This is my low. The lowest I’ve ever felt.
His parting words repeat over and over in my head.
Loving you was my greatest sin.
Loving him was my greatest mistake. I gave him everything, every last inch of my mind, body, and soul. A part of me wants to beg and plead for him to stay, but I know deep down, there is no use. Waiting on him to see his worth, to see the way he’s changed my entire life, is useless.
He’s made up his mind.
So when I feel the bed dip and the familiar feel of his body molding around me, I almost don’t notice it until he twists my body around and hovers above me.
Those eyes, peering straight into my soul.
That smile.
His arms, protecting me from everything around us.
I lose it. I cover my face and let out a pent-up sob, emotion wracking my entire body.
“Shhh,” he coos into my ear softly. “It’s okay, baby. I’m here.”
Another sob, my body shaking and shuddering from the sound of his voice.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, rubbing his nose against the side of my face before he kisses my cheek, letting his lips capture each and every tear. “I’m so sorry.”
In between sobs, I say, “Please tell me you’re staying. I can’t take it if you leave me again. I’m not . . . I’m not strong enough, Stryder.”
“I’m here to stay, baby. I’m all yours.”
My breath hitches in my chest as I try to catch . . . as I try to understand what he’s saying. “All of you?”
He nods and presses his forehead against mine, cupping my cheek at the same time. “You get all of me, baby, every last piece of my heart, of my mind, and of my body. I’m yours for the taking if you’ll have me.”
I cry-laugh and bring his lips to mine where I press a light kiss across them. “I want you. I need you, Stryder, and I don’t want to ever lose you again.”
“You won’t. I promise,” he says, his husky voice hitting me hard, the promise so strong in his conviction.
“And Colby . . .” I hate to bring him up, but I have to know.
“All worked out, Rory. Nothing you need to worry about.”
“This is it? You and me?”
“Just you and me.” His hand goes to my hips where he pins me to the mattress and crawls over my body, his large frame eclipsing me. I welcome his warmth as I spread my legs, making room for him.
He groans as his lips smooth across mine, nipping.
