Page 80 of The Upside of Falling
Stryder throws his hands up in the air, and I can sense his hopelessness. “I’m not mad at Colby. I couldn’t ever be mad at him. I’m just . . . I’m fucking disappointed in myself.” And with that, Stryder walks through the door that leads to the locker room, me following closely behind.
Over the last few months, I’ve grown to know Stryder better. We’ve hung out, had a good time, laughed and joked. I consider him a friend, but I’ve never seen this side to him, and it breaks my heart.
When I reach my locker, I carefully study Stryder and watch him take off his harness and then jumpsuit, his movements jagged, almost angry. The harness clunks to the floor, echoing in the small space, making it sound hollow in here, just like the look in Stryder’s eyes.
“And fuck if I can’t get out of this fucking town,” Stryder says, punching the locker, scaring me.
Hand to my heart, my breathing kicked up a notch from the sudden burst of anger, I say, “What do you mean?”
“We got our assignments. I got Peterson. The last fucking place I wanted to be.”
I bite on my bottom lip, trying to understand what Stryder is saying.
“I’m the only one staying in this hellhole,” he adds. I would never call Colorado Springs a hellhole—it’s actually quite beautiful—but knowing a little bit of Stryder’s background, I can understand why he would want to get out of the Springs. No doubt he wants to be as far away from his dad as possible.
And then it hits me, what Stryder said.
He’s theonly onestaying in the Springs.
Which means, Colby has been assigned somewhere else. I knew this was going to happen, but the realization of it actually happening . . .
From my locker, my phone rings, pulling me out of my short reverie. It’s my mom’s ringtone. I open the locker with a lift from the handle and answer my phone.
She usually texts, not calls, so I’m worried.
“Hello?”
“Oh thank God,” my mom says in a panicked voice.
“Mom? What’s wrong?”
“It’s Bryan,” she answers, her voice tight, as if she’s been crying. “He’s having a meltdown at the Rockies Dugout Store on Nevada. I can’t get him to move and he’s hitting himself.” My mom pauses. “He has a bloody nose and there is blood everywhere.”
My protective-sister instincts kick in.I need to get to my brother.“I’ll be right there, Mom.”
I hang up and quickly start to take the jumpsuit off. Thankfully my normal clothes are on underneath. “I need you to find Colby,” I say, my heart rate skyrocketing. “I need to leave.”
Stryder pauses what he’s doing and comes up to me, his hands on my shoulders, bending to look at my eyes. “Hey, are you okay?”
“No, my brother needs me. Please, Stryder. Go find Colby.”
“Okay.” Sorrow is replaced by urgency. He sprints away and I’m left alone, trying to grab all my things and Colby’s as well.
I need to get to Bryan.
Nothing else matters right now.
* * *
My leg bounces up and down impatiently as I look out the window, willing the weekend traffic to take pity on us.
Come on, green means go,I scream in my head wishing teleportation had been invented by now.
“We’re almost there,” Colby says, his voice trying to soothe me.
It does nothing.
I need to make sure Bryan is okay.
