Page 39 of The Upside of Falling
The nursing home he lives in takes great care of him, keeps him as active and as sharp as possible. They provide great opportunities for him to interact with not only seniors in the community, but there are tons of volunteers who come in to spend time with the residents.
With a shaky hand, he pats the seat next to him. Some dark spots cover the light skin on the back of his hand, highlighting prevalent blue veins. “I’m doing well, doing well.”
I set down the pizza box I picked up at the restaurant down the street, the pizza Gramps says is the best he’s ever had—it’s sub-par at best—and take a seat.
Clasping his hand over mine, Gramps looks me in the eyes and says, “I’m so proud of you, Colby.” His voice chokes up, and fuck if I don’t join him, a knot forming in my throat. “You set your mind to something and you accomplished it. Through all your adversities, you became the man I always dreamt you would.”
He grabs me by the back of the neck and pulls me into a hug. I follow his lead, wrapping my arms around him. Eyes shut, taking in the familiar scent I’ve grown to know and love.Where would I be without this man?The only true shortcoming of flight school is moving away from him.And now Stryder . . .I won’t even consider the loss of beautiful Rory. She was never really mine anyway. We hold each other for probably longer than necessary but when he pulls away and taps my cheek, I see pride in his eyes. “Now we just have to make sure you get selected for fighters.”
I chuckle and flip open the pizza box, handing Gramps a slice. “I know. My mentor, Mike, has been helping me in that area. I want to be the one they can’t possibly turn down.”
“Smart. Very smart.” He takes a bite of his pizza and groans. “So good.”
I keep in the smile that wants to peek past my lips. It’s not THAT great, but I go with it. Gramps likes what he likes.
“How’s Stryder?”
I wipe my mouth with a napkin. “Not doing great, but I don’t blame him. I don’t know what I would do if I was in his position.”
“His father must not have taken the news well.”
“Yeah, you could say that. The tension at the house is stronger than ever.”
After I graduated from high school and started my freshman year at the Air Force Academy, I confessed to Gramps what had been happening with Ted. To say he didn’t take it well was an understatement. I think he’s aged greatly since finding out, distraught he never saw the signs, that I never told him. I explained to him my worries, and by the time I was old enough, it was more mental abuse than anything. I matched Ted in height and outweighed him in muscle by at least ten pounds, and he didn’t test my strength, which was smart on his end. But Gramps still took it very hard, and I think it’s one of the reasons he’s in the nursing home now. Shortly after my confession, he sold his house, invested 80 percent of it in my name, and then deposited the rest into my bank account to live off while I was at the academy, promising me he had enough between his savings and his Social Security checks to afford a good nursing home. I never had to ask my mom and Ted for anything. I have no idea how the invested portion is doing, because that’s for the future, but I’ve barely touched the rest. I’ve only used it when I absolutely needed to. The man is a saint.
Even though Gramps thinks he wasn’t there for me, he has no idea how much of a savior he was during that time in my life.
He’s silent for a second and asks, “Have you told your mother?”
I shake my head. “No. She doesn’t deserve to know.”
“Still not inviting her to graduation?”
“No. She hasn’t been in my life for four years, so why would I start now?” I pat Gramps on the back. “You’re all I need . . .” My voice trails off as I look out the window, my mind immediately going to Rory.
Gramps must notice because he asks, “What’s the forlorn look on your face?”
“Hmm?”
“You spaced out.” I take a bite of my pizza, trying to ignore my grandpa’s gaze, studying, reading me. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”
“This pizza is really good. I really like the onion.”
“Colby,” he draws out. “What’s going on?”
Sighing, I toss my pizza on the box, wipe my hands, and slouch in my chair. “Gramps, it happened to me.”
“Uh-oh.” Slowly, he turns in his seat, understanding flashing in his eyes. “You met someone.” I nod, causing him to laugh. “Let me guess, she’s the one?”
“I don’t know about the one, but she sure as hell is someone I want to get to know better.”
“What’s the problem?”
I flip my napkin to the pizza box. “Flight school. She shouldn’t have to wait for me.” I asked her to write, but told her she didn’t have to wait.Even when you find a man who can give you what you need?I’m not that man.
“Did she say that?”
I think back to our conversation and the words we spoke to each other. There weren’t many. It was more about the look she gave me. The scared,I don’t think I can do thislook. So I took the lead and let her off the hook.
