Page 88 of The Upside of Falling
But I can’t seem to put a smile on my face.
The Thunderbirds, the Air Force’s flight demonstration team, flies above us, performing tricks only the finest can pull off while going seven-hundred-miles per hour. But instead of looking to the sky like everyone else in the stadium, my eyes are cast forward toward the podium, staring at nothing in particular. All I can manage is more daydreaming about the last time I felt Rory’s body against mine. And how much I fucking miss her. Every minute. Every day.
“Pool house after this?” Stryder asks, looking as sullen as I am.
“Yeah.”
“I have a bottle of Scotch for both of us, waiting to be consumed.”
“Good. I plan on forgetting tonight.”
“Me too.”
Together, we sit there, our time at the academy coming to a close, our dreams crumbling right in front of us.Weactually knew what we wanted, but now, how do we move forward with our reality?
The rest of the ceremony proceeds in a blur. The roar of the jet engines above us, the toss of our caps, the powerful cheer of the cadet wing as we try to find our loved ones.
It’s over.
Four years of hard work coming to an end . . . just like that.
“Your family here?” I ask Stryder.
He shakes his head. “Nah, I’m too much of a disappointment for them to show up. You?”
“Gramps is here,” I say, not forgetting about the extra tickets I sent to Rory. The same tickets that she’d sent back to me with a note that said, “Start your new life, without me.”
Fuck if that didn’t hurt.
Taking a second to look around, I say, “I believe he’s over there.” I point to the stands. “Want to come say hi with me?”
“Might as well, we can hit up the Scotch after, unless you and Gramps have plans?”
I shake my head. Stryder knows about Rory. Even though things with Stryder are still strained, he knows what happened. He knows I wouldn’t have plans anymore, unless they were with Gramps.
“Nah. Gramps has to get back to the nursing home after this. It was a special trip he made for me that the nurses helped out with. He can’t be out for long.”
Understanding, Stryder follows me past excited graduates and up the stadium steps where we find Gramps in a wheelchair, blanket across his lap despite the nice weather and a huge, watery smile on his face.
And for a second, I forget about the broken heart shattered within my chest. I forget about the anger brewing. I forget about the hatred I have for my shitty luck. Instead, I focus on the look of pure pride on my grandpa’s face.For me.
“Come here,” he says with a strangled voice.
Feeling his emotion, I lean down so he can grip me by the neck and pull me into a hug. His strength is marginal compared to what it used to be, but his love is forever strong.I would be nothing without him.
“I’m so damn proud of you,” he whispers into my ear, keeping his grip firmly in place, not letting me up. “You are everything I ever dreamed for in a grandson and so much more.”
Fuck.
My emotions are so fucking erratic at this point, and I don’t know how my body is going to respond next.
“You should be damn proud of yourself.”
When I lift away, only a few inches, I whisper. “Thank you, Gramps.”
Keeping my head in place, he aligns his forehead with mine, an intent expression. “Become a pilot, feel those clouds, and if the rest is meant to be, then it’s meant to be. But just because you’re flying doesn’t mean you can give up.”
After I left Rory’s apartment, fucking shattered, I called Gramps. The next day I was at the nursing home, licking my wounds, trying to gain perspective. Gramps told me to try to push it to the side and finish out the school year. Figure Rory out later.
