Page 26 of The Upside of Falling
“That was you, not me.”
I glare at him. It takes him about three seconds to realize what I’m trying to convey. “Oh, yeah, I have to go to the bathroom.” Rolling his eyes, he grabs his bathroom caddy from his locker and marches to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him, offering me some privacy.
I flip the letter between my fingers, back and forth, unsure if I want to read the words.
I have a feeling her words might change me.
I have a feeling this perfume-coated letter could break me.
And yet, I can’t convince myself to put it away, to stuff it back in the envelope and return to sender, because the paper feels like it’s on fire, burning to be opened.I know it’s because of who it’s from, and not just that it’s my first letter since I’ve been here.
I want to read it.
For the sake of my sanity, I need to read it.
Taking a deep breath, I lean against the headboard of my bed and read Rory’s letter.
Dear Colby,
Surprised? Wasn’t expecting a letter from me? Well guess what, I like to keep you on your toes. I hope you’re enjoying the spritz of perfume and the very bold kiss on the bottom. I read up on how to write a “soldier” a letter, and almost every old-time letter used to have perfume and kisses, so I figured, why not?
I like to treat this letter as if you’re deployed in a foreign country and I’m back home, wishing and hoping you return safely. That’s the vibe I’m going for, even though you are fifteen miles north of me and could easily meet me in the middle somewhere to have a cup of coffee.
But this thing between us, it feels so distant but relevant at the time same, like I’m supposed to talk to you, like I’m supposed to stay in touch, even if it’s through the simple form of a letter, delivered with a stamp.
So here I am, wanting to talk, wanting to stay in touch, throwing up my Hail Mary, hoping that maybe, just maybe, the curves in my handwriting and the wisps in my dotted I’s will entice you enough to write back.
Because I like you, Colby, and I know I’m not alone in this feeling. I hope you can gain enough courage to not see me as a distraction, but more of an addition to your exciting and booming life.
If you want to call me, my number is at the bottom. I will also accept texts, shirtless pictures, drawings of stick figures, or an outline of your hand on a piece of paper if that’s all you’re capable of.
Be safe jumping from those planes. I hope you give me a chance, give this a chance, because I think it could be something great.
Wildly in lust,
Rory
Setting the letter on my lap, I squeeze my eyes shut, tipping my head back against the wall, her words swirling around in my mind.
I can see her writing this letter—hunkered down, thinking carefully of what to write—draped in a soft sweater, knees tucked in close to her, looking so goddamn irresistible.I hope you can gain enough courage to not see me as a distraction, but more of an addition to your exciting and booming life.
I don’t want to have feelings for her. I want to be able to turn off the part of my brain that keeps thinking about her, that keeps envisioning her everywhere I go, but I can’t. For the life of me, I can’t turn off the burning need inside me to be near her, to think about her, to wonder what it would be like if I gave in, if I allowed her into my world.
And what’s pulling me to my desk is not the incessant need I have to connect with her again, but the terrified feeling blooming inside of me, making me think that if I don’t let this girl in, I’m going to regret it for the rest of my life.
I pull out the chair to my desk, take a seat, and grab my notepad and pen. Staring at the blank page, I start writing.
Chapter Eleven
RORY
“Where is he?” I ask after giving my mom and dad a kiss hello.
“In his room. He hasn’t had a very good day, honey.” My mom lovingly strokes my hair, playing with the ends. “But a visit from his favorite person might very well make his day.”
“That’s what I’m here for.” I set my gym bag on the floor and head down the hallway. From over my shoulder, I ask, “What’s for dinner?”
“Dad is ordering pizza. Shall I get onions and peppers?”
