Page 94 of Stroked by (Stroked)
“What?” Reese asks, a twist of confusion in his eyes. Poor man, so close-minded, I will have to open his eyes, teach him the lessons Pope Francis taught me. Love thy neighbor.
Chapter Twenty-Two
**PAISLEY**
Oh, Jesus.
This is happening right now.
I should have known better than to tell Bellini such a lie. I should have known that in her crazy, demented brain she would take someone’s sexuality and make it into a promotion for herself.
I’m so glad Reese is here right now, listening to all of the crap coming out of Bellini’s mouth. This isn’t awkward or uncomfortable at all. Note the sarcasm.
“Bellini, it’s completely inappropriate and uncalled for to out one of your employees,” Jasper states, anger in his voice.
“Oh, please. Everyone knows just from the combat boots she wears and the way she sits that Mauve is of the lesbian kind.”
“I don’t think she is,” Reese suggests.
Bellini pats his face with her palm. “Oh, you’re so naïve. She is a lesbian, sweetheart. She told me herself, in a state of dire need to get the information off her chest, she just blurted it out. Isn’t that right, Mauve?”
Everyone turns to me, looking for answers, even Litter Box . . . I mean Lauren. I can’t bear to look at Reese right about now because after what he did last night and this morning to my body, I can’t imagine what he must be thinking.
“Well, Mauve, are you going to tell us about being a lesbian?”
Clearing my throat, I twist my hands in my lap and stare at the ground. “I did say that to Bellini.”
“See!” Bellini throws her hands up in the air. “Honestly, would I really lie? Especially with Pope Francis on my very lap? Lying is one of the Ten Commandments just in case all of you sinners didn’t know that.”
Jasper pinches his nose. “Christ, Bellini. You can’t just announce to the world when someone is gay; that is their business, not yours.”
“Psshh. Everyone is so sensitive these days. Let’s call a spade a spade; Mauve likes vaginas, marijuana is the miracle healer, and there is a new trend bouncing around high schoolers where they eat out of dog bowls and pee on fire hydrants. The more we become aptly aware of our surroundings, the more we will be accepting and less sensitive to being told by society that you are in fact an ugly cod face.” She pets Pope Francis, gives him a kiss, and then continues. “So with Mauve exposed as her true self, I’m here to tell you that Litter Box is not here to talk to me.”
Oh, shit.
Sweat starts to pool in my armpits, the back of my neck tingles, and I can feel an utter sense of dread creep over me.
“Before we went to that godforsaken homeless-man’s state where the children of the corn live, I interviewed a bunch of women to become your lover.” She says that so naturally.
“What?” Lauren asks, looking just as perplexed as the rest of us.
“Oh Christ,” Jasper mutters as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “Just stop.”
She doesn’t listen. “I created a fake document, interviewed these women, letting them think they were interviewing for a job at Pothead Pizza, when in actuality, I was seeing if they would be the perfect match for Mauve. Brilliant, I know. I’m such a do-gooder.”
And there it is. In all honesty, I’m not surprised.
“I spent mindless hours watching over Pocket as she read me profile after profile. I was looking for someone who knew style, who had a nice car, and a good Pothead Pizza topping idea, because I had to get something out of this as well.” She leans over and touches Reese’s cheek, gazing into his eyes. “I really wanted to find her the kind of love we share.”
“And seeing what kind of car they drive is a great question to start out with,” Reese says sarcastically.
“Sure is,” she responds, not hearing the condescending undertone of Reese’s statement.
Every time Bellini touches Reese, I feel my heart sink just another notch. It’s beyond fake, but I don’t like sharing, and right now, Bellini has her hands all over my man, telling him how I’m a lesbian. Not my best moment. But sure as hell not my worst either.
“My choices for Mauve came down to two women: Litter Box and another woman not worth mentioning. I chose Litter Box because she’s well versed in hair and can help with that mop on your head, Mauve. Maybe teach you how to brush it?”
I grind my teeth . . . hard.
