Page 10 of Crash
As much as I loved our whole hidden identity thing we had going on, I wish I knew his real name. I wish I knew more about him. Above all else, I wish I could see him again, make sure he’s okay. Every day, I worry he went back to finish the job. l check newspapers and local Facebook pages to make sure I don’t see anything about a man meeting his description having lost his life. I hope he’s happy, that his future, even if it was forced upon him, isn’t as bad as he was afraid it would be. I hope he’s found sunshine, that he still thinks about me, at least half as much as I think about him.
Being busy has helped me stay the course toward the future I’ve always wanted but never allowed myself to dream of. Now that school has started, things are going to get so much busier, and to be honest, I’m here for it.
I love being busy, keeping my mind focused on goals rather than sitting around idly. My depression always gets the best of me when I’m stagnant, alone, lost inmy own thoughts. Anxiety and depression never go away completely. It’s something that I’m going to battle with my entire life. All I can do is cope and keep moving forward.
I can’t let it get as bad as it used to be, let it get to the point of suffocation, where it felt as though my only way to escape was death.
I work daily to keep my head above the metaphorical water.
I know it’s not a great tactic but leaning on Hunter has helped me beyond measure. Hunter struggles with a lot of the same issues, and we’ve become each other’s support systems once again, just like when we were kids. It was easy for us both to fall back into it. We push each other, support each other, and we keep each other in check.
Together, we’re healing.
I really don’t know where I would be without him. When one of us stumbles, the other picks us back up without judgment or question. He’s my life raft in the middle of the ocean. He may not be able to fully pull me towards the shore, but he’s keeping me afloat while I battle the waves.
After months of life-changing choices and hard work, I can honestly say I’ve never been more excited about my future, particularly as I take my seat in my first-ever college lecture. I feel so hopeful for my future, and the ugliness of my past is staying exactly where it needs to be: in the past.
I glance up at the big black chalkboard spanning most of the front of the classroom and smile at the words:Marketing 101.Class number one towards my big, sunshiny dreams. I allow myself a rare smile as I take in my surroundings.
I’m in freaking college. Holy shit, I did it!
The room quickly fills and almost every single chair is taken, which is wild to me. The lecture hall contains over 200 seats. The enormity of it fills my stomach with butterflies of both nerves and excitement.
I’m so distracted by my surroundings, I don’t notice someone sitting down to my right until I hear a throat clear next to me. I jolt from of my perusal and glance over to see where the noise came from. Instantly, my mind is overtaken by a bright smile and big, beautiful eyes looking back at me.
“Hi, I’m Drew...”
