Page 108 of Steady Stroke
It wasn’t until she left and he was alone with Emmett that Lincoln’s startled brain began working again. His heart leapt for joy at the sight of Emmett; his body reacted to his physical proximity. He wanted to close the distance and hug him. Kiss him. Drag him to bed.
“What are you doing here?” Lincoln asked.
“Dominic called me, I’m assuming not long after you told him everything.” Emmett shoved both hands into his jeans pockets. “We talked about a lot of things. The accident. Our practice sessions. How much you mean to me. He invited me to still come today.”
“He had no right.”
Emmett flinched. “Sure he did. He’s a human being with thoughts and opinions separate from yours. I also spoke to Benji and Joshua separately about the accident. I’m not going to lie and say we’re all the best of friends, but they both understand. No one wants to turn me in.”
A tiny ball of fear unfurled at that comment. While none of his friends were bloodthirsty ghouls, they’d all been hurt in the car crash, especially Joshua, and had every right to want Emmett arrested. “Tyson?”
“He hasn’t returned my calls. Dominic and Benji reached out, too, but no one’s heard from him.”
“That’s good.” Lincoln crossed his arms. “Guess you got away with it, then.”
Pain flashed hot and fast across Emmett’s face. “I didn’t get away with anything if it means I lost you. Your friends deserved to know the truth. I didn’t want anything else between you and me. Now it’s all out in the open.”
“And this is what? You ambushing me? Begging me to forgive you? Take you back?”
“Yes. I miss you so much, Linc. I felt loss when my familydied, but this hurts in a different way. You took a part of my heart that I’ve never given to anyone before, and I’ve been so empty without you. The heartache is so much worse than I ever thought possible.”
Lincoln’s eyes burned, but he bit back words to the same effect. He didn’t want to admit how much he’d missed Emmett, too.
“What else can I do?” Emmett asked. “How can I convince you to give me another chance? Do you want me to turn myself in to the police? Admit what I did and go to jail? Will that prove to you how much I love you?”
The idea of Emmett locked up behind bars, vulnerable to the whims of hardened criminals, made Lincoln’s skin crawl. He wanted to wrap Emmett up in his arms and protect him from the world. “I never wanted that. All I ever wanted from you was to be honest. With yourself and with me.”
“I know. And the more honest I was with myself, the more desperate I became to not lose you. I hated keeping the accident to myself. The secret made me physically sick more than once. But Lincoln, when I realized that I wanted forever with you, I told you the truth. I couldn’t pursue our relationship with that secret between us. I wish I’d had the balls to confess before we got so involved, but I didn’t, and I can’t change the past. I wish I could, but I can’t.”
“No one changes the past.”
“All we have is this moment.” Emmett took a single step forward, his eyes wet. “So this is me in this moment, standing in front of you and telling you that I love you. I love you, Lincoln West, and I will do whatever it takes to prove that to you. Tell me what I need to do.”
Lincoln wanted, more than anything, to give Emmett some kind of answer. Only he didn’t have one. He didn’t know how Emmett could prove himself. Lincoln believed him, and fuck itall, he still loved Emmett. Intensely so. But was that enough to build on when trust had been broken?
“I don’t know,” Lincoln finally said. “I really don’t, Em. I’m sorry.”
His chin trembled but he didn’t cry. “Hey, I’ll take ‘I don’t know.’ It’s better than saying nothing will fix us.”
“Right now my answer is the same as it was on Tuesday. I need time.”
“Okay.” Emmett swallowed hard. “I guess I’ll leave you alone then.”
Stay. Don’t go. I need you.
“Thanks,” Lincoln said.
Emmett glanced over his shoulder when he reached the bottom step, one hand on the door. Lincoln didn’t meet his gaze, because if he did, he’d beg Emmett to stay. He’d hug him, kiss him, and then fuck him senseless, and he couldn’t do that. So he stared at the floor until Emmett left, gently shutting the camper door behind him.
Lincoln collapsed onto the sofa, completely drained after a five-minute conversation. He loved that Emmett was here to see him perform, and also hated that Emmett and his friends had conspired to ambush him. Everything was jumbled up in his mind and heart, so he used the excuse of the heat and glaring sun potentially triggering a migraine to hide inside the camper for the rest of the day.
Yeah, he was hiding. Twenty-five years old, and he was hiding from his boyfriend, because he was too chickenshit to admit he wanted to try again, but he was also terrified of what that meant.
Dominic had mercy and brought him dinner from the barbecue booth. He and Trey ate with him, while the others were out there mingling and having fun. At least, he hoped they were. Especially Emmett. His nerves were probablyjumping all over the place because of the crowds, but it was a music festival. And the first of the opening night acts would be playing soon.
XYZ would be playing soon.
They were scheduled for eight o’clock. At seven their entire crew, Emmett included, crowded into the camper. Benji was curled up on the couch with a mug of hot tea, perfectly miserable.
