Page 86 of Somewhere Only We Know
After a few steady breaths, I was ready to look at him again. His eyes were huge, his mouth tight with worry.Blast. Despite everything, I wanted to reach out to him.
“You were using me,” I choked out.
Regret weighed him down, his shoulders dropping. “It was more than that.”
“Shut up.” I whispered it. “Stop lying to me. I’m so tired of it.”
“I lied about some things. Not everything. Youhaveto know that.” The hoarse, pleading tone didn’t placate me. It hurt. Everything he said was laced with the possibility of deception and it hurt. So much.
I finally started to cry. The tears spilled before I could stop them, uncontrollable and swift. Jack and all the lights and people around him blurred.
He was next to me before I could stop him.
“Lucky, please. I’m sorry.” His hand reached out to touch my face and I jerked away before he could. When I wiped my tears and looked at him, I almost choked.
How darehelook wounded.
“You’re exactly like everyone else,” I spat out. “Using me. I never should have done this. It was a huge mistake because I was being manipulated by you from the first second we met. And now my entirecareermight be ruined overyou.”
“What?” He shook his head. “I know I messed up—butyoumade the choice to leave that hotel room. You can’t blame me for your unhappiness.”
I flinched. “Excuse me? The only unhappiness I’m feeling right now was caused byyou.”
Everything changed in his demeanor then. He tensed, a frown wrinkling his brow. “Lucky. You have to know that you’re super unhappy. You hate your life.”
“I don’t hate my life!” I exclaimed. “There you go, exaggerating everything to fit your story. Is that the angle you were going for?Miserable K-pop Star? How boring. How utterly unoriginal.” Venom spewed from me and I couldn’t stop it.
His lips pressed into a line and he took a second before he spoke.“It’s the truth. Somewhere along the way, you started to hate this. But you can change that, do things on your own terms. You’re a star.Youhave the power. The way you sang at karaoke—”
“Oh my God, you’re naive,” I blurted out. “You can’t changeanythingin this industry. Okay,Jack?” I said his name in the most obnoxious American accent I could manage. Turning the energetic, boyish name into something mock-worthy.
“You’re too scared to change things!” He finally raised his voice. A few people looked over at us.
I stepped away from him. “You don’t know me.At all. And clearly, I don’t know you. Talk about scared. You’re too terrified to tryanything. Scared of failing at something you care about.” He blinked quickly, taken aback. I went on, “So what, is that why you’ve taken this trash job? As some lowlifepaparazzo? Because it’s easy?”
It was like I had physically pushed him. He staggered back a step. The distance between us growing with every word we hurled at each other.
He held up his hands, as if protecting himself. “Not everyone’s born with yourgifts, Lucky,” he said. Even though his tone was measured, the emphasis made “gifts” a dirty word. “The rest of us living down here on planet Earth have to make do with what we have.”
“What a load of crap.” I laughed harshly. “You think that I didn’t sacrifice almost everything to get where I am? It’s not agift, it’swork. That’s what youdowhen you have a dream, Jack. When you care about stuff. Yougo for it. You don’t take the path of least resistance, and you don’t give up!”
Recognition and hurt registered on his face. “Then you get it. Why I did everything so I could get this story. This is my big break, Lucky. I’m sorry. You were never meant to be a casualty of that.”
Woo boy. I had to take a deep breath so I didn’t scream. People were definitely watching us now. But I didn’t care.
“How could Inotbe a casualty of that, you jerk? One, it would throw my career into total scandal! Two, you dideverythingto make me fall for you today.” Again, that tremor in my voice. It negated the fury I was trying to use to hurt him back.
I thought I loved you. Even thinking back to those feelings filled me with burning shame. Talk about naive.
He dropped his hands and stilled, staring at me. Eyes searching my face for something. “I fell for you, too. I’m still falling for you. I’llalwaysbe falling for you.”
The words were like butter. So smooth, so welcome. A balm for the wounds he left behind. It killed me to hear them, because I couldn’t believe anything he said anymore.
This had to end.
“That’s too bad, because I would never fall for a loser like you.” The words came out like bullets, and I couldn’t take them back.
CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX
