Page 19 of Somewhere Only We Know
It was easy to sound happy and relaxed on a FaceTime call, or in texts.
But soon, I could see my family in real life. The money would be so much better, and I’d actually be able to fly my entire family out to see me. Despite having two hit albums, my contract still gave much of the earnings to my management label.
It was how it was done and had always been done. I was supposed to be grateful for the fame, for making it to the top in a competitive field. Being an idol? Up until very recently, it had been enough.
At some point, something changed. Watching that video in my hotel room? I knew something was missing now. I just wasn’t sure what it was. And right now, this night with this guy was helping me avoid it. To forget that my accomplished dreams were no longer fulfilling.
My cheeks were wet, my eyelash extensions clinging to them. Jack slipped the phone back into his jeans pocket. “Hey… hey. Don’t cry.” He kept his distance, but I felt his warmth anyway.
The big feel I got from this guy since we met was…caring. He cared and he had no reason to. That’s why I had followed him down a dark alley.
Suddenly, I was so, so tired. And embarrassed. I wasn’t acting like myself and I was a mess, and this guy was now spending too much time with me, and it was all going to get leaked out in the press.
I tried to dry my eyes with the long thermal sleeves peeking out from my coat and swiped up some stringy snot along the way. Oh, God.
My eyes flew up to Jack’s face. Jack, who would be taller than me in heels. He tried to avert his eyes but it was too late.
“You saw my komul right now!” I wailed. Certain words, like snot, would always be Korean first no matter what.
Jack coughed while trying to hold back his laughter. “No, I didn’t!”
“Yes, you did!” I turned away from him, my face planted into the wall. The rough brick scratched my cheek, but I didn’t care.
“I swear!” he said from behind me.
But with my forehead pressed into the cool building, the surroundings dark, I felt my eyelids droop. And I gave in to the exhaustion.
CHAPTER TWELVE
JACK
You know what’s difficult? Carrying a human being on your back. Especially a human being who is dead asleep.
I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, and Fern let out a complainy sniffle. So sorry, literal monster on my back!
If I were famous, some paparazzo like me would snap a photo of this moment.
How did my night turn into this? From being worried about a cute girl falling asleep on a bus to piggybacking her home? Not her home. Mine.
She had absolutely no identification on her. I had a feeling she was staying at the same hotel as Teddy Slade, where I first saw her in the elevator. But bringing a drunk girl into that lobby without knowing anything about her was probablynota good idea. And no way was Istepping back into that place after the stunt I pulled today. Celeste Jiang had known what I’d done and I didn’t want to risk it.
I had dug through Fern’s pockets earlier, hoping to find a phone, to call someone to pick her up. But nothing.
It was like she fell out of the sky.
By the time I got to my apartment building, I felt like I was going to die. Like, blood pouring out of my eyes type of death. I heaved her off my back as gently as possible. She slumped down onto the granite-tiled floor in the entryway. The medicinal herbs shop on the ground floor of my apartment building was closed for the night, the metal grate in place, but its scent was still strong around us. I fumbled to enter the code to let me into the building. When the door unlocked with a loudclang, I propped it open with one foot and reached for Fern, draping her arm across my neck and heaving her up by the waist with my other arm.
Why did I live in a walk-up? All of my life decisions that led me to this moment played in my head like a punishing movie montage, and I cursed every single one of them.
When I finally reached the fourth floor, I was panting and my entire upper body was cramped with pain. Leaning both our bodies against the wall, I tried to dig my key out from my pocket but Fern immediately slid down onto the floor.
I let her sit there for a second while I unlocked the door. I grabbed a shoe from the entry, one of Charlie’s rubber house slippers, and wedged it into the door.
Fern was a limp noodle of a human being now, completely slouched over, her slippered feet pointing in opposite directions like the Wicked Witch of the East.
After a few attempts to move her, I was sweating. Christ, why was this girl so freaking difficult to move! I was finally able to grab her under her armpits and drag her into the living room. Straight-up hiding-a-dead-body style.
I heaved her against the sofa, where she continued to slump.
