Page 54 of Let the Games Begin
“Four things you can feel?” she asked.
He tried to focus on all the sensations outside of his body rather than the sensations inside of his body. “The fabric on my shirt… the soles under my feet.” He took a deep breath in and then a deep breath out. “The ground under my left hand… your hand on my right hand.” Her hand was soft and warm, with a firm grip on his. He slowly uncurled himself from his slouching position and leaned against the wall she was sitting by.
“And what can you taste?” she asked.
“I’d say tears, but I like you too much to admit I cry. Even though that’s exactly what I’m doing now, so… I can taste… saltwater,” Zeke said, making Olivia laugh. Her laugh sounded like honey. It was the lightest he’d felt all day, and he experienced a short, temporary sense of relief.
“You can just say tears, Zeke,” she said, looking over at him with a softness in her eyes.
They sat there for a little while longer, side by side, watching the evening go by. She was still holding his hand. He didn’t need her to, but he didn’t want her to let go yet.
Zeke was grateful. The scariest thing about panic attacks was that he always felt like he was about to die. No amount of rationalizing would shake the feeling until it passed. Having someone there with him as he went through it helped bring him back sooner, to see a glimpse of reality through them before he could find it for himself.
Still they sat there, just holding hands and staring out across the Village. Olivia made him feel safe. He didn’t ever feel like he had to be anybody other than himself with her. He’d been his truest, most unfiltered self with her from the very first time they’d met. For some reason, there was no need to pretend with her. He didn’t feel like he had to be charming or polished. Sitting next to Olivia, he could just be who he was.
44Olivia
DAY SEVEN OF THE 2024 OLYMPICS
Olivia felt the same way. So much that it scared her. Zeke was still holding on to her, so she gently lifted her arm and kissed the back of his hand. It was an act of tenderness unfamiliar to her, but it felt completely natural as the sun made its slow descent, leaving blurry pink and orange lines in the sky. Zeke wrapped his arm around Olivia’s shoulder, and she shuffled closer toward him until they were sitting side by side. He placed a soft kiss on her head and then slowly rested his head on hers. They sat there in comfortable silence for a while. Zeke’s heartbeat slowed down, and his breathing returned to normal.
The rest of the Village was still bustling with activity, but with all the other athletes out training or at competitions, the athletes’ quarter was strangely peaceful, like the world was in slow motion.
“You know that feeling you get when you’re a kid and your parents don’t come home on time?” Zeke asked.
“When you start to think something bad has happened to them?”
“Yeah. Exactly that. When I was a kid, I used to think about what I would do if something bad ever did happen to my parents,” said Zeke, looking into the distance. “I made a plan. My older brothers would move back home to look after me, we’d stay living in the house that we grew up in, and then, when we got older, we’d all grow up and buy houses on the same street. I felt like if I imagined and prepared for the worst thing that could happen, the worst thing couldn’t happen. But it still happened.”
Olivia nodded and gently squeezed his hand. He squeezed back.
“I thought by now I wouldn’t need a plan to get me through a missed call. That knowing I’d gone through loss and survived it meant that I’d be able to handle the fear of it happening again. But all it took was two missed calls to my brothers and my mum to reduce me to… this,” he said, waving his left hand.
His right hand was still holding hers. They sat in silence for another moment. Olivia didn’t feel the need to fill it. Then Zeke’s phone rang. He answered the video call, and his phone screen lit up with the image of an older woman wearing a glamorous dress at what appeared to be a party.
“Ezekiel! I’ve already packed my bag to come and see you,” she said, grinning as she chatted away about how she and Zeke’s brothers were planning to fly to Athens at the end of the week in time to watch his final. Zeke looked so relieved. It turned out that his mum was at her half-sister’s cousin’s niece-in-law’s Zimbabwean traditional wedding that afternoon.
“Mum, I was just calling to see if you’re okay,” Zeke said, putting on a cheerful voice.
“I’m brilliant, excellent, fantastic,” said his mother, emphasizing each word by lifting her phone up and down. “Wait, wait, you need to say hi to your Auntie Chido,” she added, getting up.
“I don’t have an aunt called Chido,” Zeke said, looking over at Olivia, who laughed as she saw the perplexed look on his face.
“Chido! Chido! Ezekiel is on the phone, come quick,” the woman said, waving her phone in the air.
“Chido! Chido! Ah, here she is,” said Zeke’s mother as another equally glamorous-looking older woman walked into the frame.
“Ezekiel! Is that you? Your mother said you’d grown up, but I didn’t know you would be as handsome as your father,” said the other woman.
“Thank you, Auntie Chido,” said Zeke, looking embarrassed as he noticed Olivia grinning at him.
“Wait, wait, is that a girl? Ezekiel?” said his mother, her eyes growing wider. “Ezekiel, have you found a girlfriend? Oh, Jesus Lord, you have answered all of my prayers!” She put one arm in the air.
“Mum, stop it,” said Zeke, looking even more embarrassed.
“Chido, imagine. I have a whole twenty-four-year-old son. An athlete, scholar, and superstar, but he gets embarrassed when I say that he is a very eligible bachelor,” said Zeke’s mother.
“Imagine,” said Auntie Chido, shaking her head. Olivia smiled as she thought about what family dinners must be like in the Moyo household.
