Page 74 of Even After This
For some inexplicable reason,my mom, sister, and niece tackle the Black Friday sales every year. I’ve never done the calculations, but I don’t think the savings balance out the post-shopping-massage costs.
Still, they insist on going.
Leaning against the doorjamb to the kitchen, I observe the planning process. The Pentagon’s got nothing on these women.
A few hours ago, our Thanksgiving feast covered the table. Now the surface is littered with innumerable print ads, prioritized shopping lists, and one color-coded master map of the DFW area. I think all they’re missing are live feeds of the storefronts, and it wouldn’t shock me if those appear as midnight approaches.
“You going to join them?” Harlan’s deep voice surprises me almost as much as his hand grazing the small of my back.
I lurch forward, and he grabs my elbow to steady me as he walks past. When he reaches the table, he scans the situation room.
“Aunt Meredith isn’t allowed to go.” Hannah outs me while crouching over a flyer from Abercrombie & Fitch.
I roll my eyes. “It’s not that I’m not allowed to go. I just don’t want to go.”
“Also, you aren’t allowed.” Molly yanks the flyer away from Hannah and examines the model on the page.
Mom leans over to look at the picture. “That girl forgot to wear pants for this photo shoot.”
Harlan grunts. “Why isn’t Meredith allowed to go?”
“She hates shopping. It’s her one flaw.” Hannah smiles at me. “I still love her.”
Molly harrumphs. “Hates? She sucks the life out of any momentary shopping joy. Small or big.”
I throw my arms out. “Can we not do this right now?”
My family made it through the Thanksgiving meal without any embarrassing stories. I made it through the feast without hyperventilating. So far, I’m counting today as a win. But now we’re on shaky ground.
“Sure.” Molly tucks the half-naked A&F ad under a HomeGoods flyer.
“There’s no need to tell Harlan she got kicked out of Dillard’s. They lifted the ban after her appeal to the manager.” My mother pulls another sales announcement from Hannah’s pile and points to the scantily clad woman. “This one is wearing her little sister’s shorts. Does she not know it’s wintertime?”
Harlan glances at me, taking a sip of his coffee with a smile partially hidden behind the rim of his cup.
Molly grabs the latest half-naked-model picture and shoves it in the pile to join its cohort. “You should be glad they didn’t make you pay for the mannequin.”
“I was hangry.” I shake my head. “And I had to go to the bathroom. No one should shop under those harsh conditions.”
Molly taps her finger on her upper lip. “True. Which is why we implemented mandatory snack times the following year.”
“Was that the time she fell asleep in the Gap dressing room?” Now my mom is throwing me under the proverbial shopping bus.
“Yeah, that was the last trip she was allowed to go with us.” Hannah sneaks a Target flyer over the Victoria’s Secret ad on the top of her pile.
Bless her heart. No way is her mom letting her buy underwear from VS.
Harlan scratches the stubble on his cheek. “What do you have against shopping?”
“Nothing. I like shopping sprints. But these absurd people like shopping marathons.” I decide to change the topic before they point out more of my questionable shopping history. “What I want to know is who’s going to help me sort the change this year?”
Between my dad and Taylor in the living room and the women in the dining room, a collective moan rolls through the house.
“That’s what I thought.” I point my accusing finger at each person. “Did you at least bring your change jars?”
“They’re in the guest room,” Taylor calls from the couch. “I put them in there when I showed Harlan where to put his luggage.”
All the oxygen leaves my body, and a tense vibe fills the room. Heat creeps up my face. Of course he’s staying here. I told him he could stay here. But I didn’t tell my family about his impending visit.
